Thursday, May 9, 2013
There is also the development of dogma which has been more than questionable...Mary's immaculate conception and the Assumption of Mary. Also JP II encyclical referring to Mary as co-redeemer. Ummm, I don't think so. I tried to ignore that stuff, after my conversion to Catholicism, but it's hard to ignore when I am told that by missing a Marian Holy Day I am committing a mortal sin and will go to Hell unless I confess it. Really? I mean REALLY? I have a really hard time believing that when I read the New Testament.
Anyway, that is where things stand for me. I don't hold any malice toward any Catholics personally. Most of my friends are Catholic and I love them to bits. I just have issues with the Catholicism. And I'd rather not be a dissident Catholic inside the church, but a happy Christian outside.
Monday, April 11, 2011
I know this is a time of looking inward, but what I see in here scared the bejesus out of me so no thanks. It's a time of self mortification. Catholics just love suffering...apparently. Well, I think I should be exempt. I have something just heinous going on in my lower back and right hip. Some docs say Sciatic pain, some say Trochenteric Bursitis of my right hip, others say Piriformis Syndrome. Know what I say...it frickin sucks and I want it to go away or I want major drugs to anesthetize me. So, since I am stuck in physical therapy, which is making it worse right now (I can't get comfortable lying down AT ALL, which makes sleep nigh impossible) Why nigh....coz there are things like muscle relaxants and benzodiazipine type drugs that will shove me into unconsciousness. But it still sucks. So I am considering all this pain and lack of sleep my mortification because why on EARTH would I want to make it worse for myself??? I am trying to offer it up. But I am a taurus and I bull through everything. I just hope some of it counts for something.
I wish I knew what it was about all the sun and hot that gets to me so badly. You know how some of you out there just loathe Winter. That is exactly how I feel about Summer (and some of Spring too...the hot parts). Now, of course, because I live in the northern burbs of Atlanta it is amazingly beautiful here right now. The flowers, bushes and trees are blooming. Azalea's, Dogwoods, Forsythia it's all so pretty but it comes at the price of my sanity and spirituality. As I get older this seasonal bipolarity is getting really annoying. I mean I know it's coming. I try every little mental trick to move past it but still I am dragged into a desparing pit of depression no matter what. I feel like I am bilocating sometimes, like I can see myself from the outside and I know the problem is temporary but it feels SO REAL.
Combine all this with a lack of appropriate for me air conditioning because my house is an open floor plan so nothing ever really cools off well, except for a few bedrooms. I mean I could really crank it but it would cost damn near a 1k a month to do that and I just can't justify it. So, I spend alot of time in my air conditioned very cold minivan which helps in one way but hurts in another. Driving just kills my hip. I gotta go to confession before Easter. What do I say, "I confess I am losing my religion because it's hot out?"
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
I wrote the above statement in October of 2009. I just found it while looking over my blog posts. I realized that it was still a draft so I clicked 'edit' to see what it was. Needless to say I was kinda stunned because the content of that paragraph is exactly what I wanted to tackle today. I am kind of still in the same place. They tell me Mother Theresa went through this. I have not read the book about it, so I can't comment.
Here's my dilemma. First let me give a little background. I was born, baptised and raised a cultural Presbyterian. We went to church. I loved singing hymns, but that was all it meant. As a kid I was REALLY interested in spiritual things and my favorite book, which I still have, was a National Geographic title called Great Religions of the World. Fast forward and when I was 13, my dad 'Got Saved'. Suddenly he was talking about Christianity in a more personal way than I ever understood it. But he was really confusing, especially since he was talking about being a new creation in Christ and he seemed like the same ole dad to me. Fast forward to when I was 18. I think it was February, and my dad had talked my mom, brother, and me into going to a Billy Graham Crusade. I, being the idealist that I am, was bowled over, and walked down with throngs of people, at the ending 'altar call' to receive Christ as my Lord and Savior. Later that week, I would find a Church, as it turned out I went to Good Shepherd Methodist Church in West Palm Beach, FL. They had a very active and vibrant youth group. I made a bunch of friends there, deepened my new found faith, and even recently have reconnected with some of those folks through Facebook.
So, from 18 to 34, I remain a fairly active Evangelical Christian. As most protestants do, I dabbled in denominationalism. I went from the Methodists to the Episcopalians to the Lutherans- Missouri Synod, to Southern Baptists (where I was re-baptised), back to the Presbyterians- PCA. I tried some fundamentalist churches too, with their hands in the air and speaking in tongues. It scared the shit out of me! I kept trying to find the denomination that fit me. Some were too uptight, too legalistic, too liberal. Gosh, it drove me crazy. I tried to fit in and make friends and sometimes it worked for a little while but I never felt like I belonged anywhere. My parents even found a pastor who was churchless and we set up a home non denominational church in our house for a couple of years. We had 20 people coming to it for a while. (Tho it was just really a glorified bible study.)
At 34, my mother, who I loved more than God (being honest here), was diagnosed with colon cancer right after Mother's Day 2000; the day Autumn was baptised. Autumn was baptised in a Presbyterian church, as was Andrew, Ben was baptised in a Methodist church. Mom suffered for 5 months, the colon cancer had spread to both lobes of her liver...a death sentence....and then she was gone. She died just a few weeks shy of her 54th birthday, in a Catholic hospital (interestingly) with all of us surrounding her.
Okay, so did I pray that my mom, the best grandmother in the world, would be healed? Yes. Constantly. Did I pray that her suffering be relieved. Yes. Constantly. Did I pray that God help me to find a way to help her. Yes. Constantly. Was she healed? No. Did she suffer horribly. Oh yes. Was I able help her...like give her a lobe of my liver? No. Was I pissed? HELL YES! I was so angry at God. SOOOOOOO ANGRY. I joked with really good friends, who are Catholic, during Lent several months later, that I had given Jesus up for Lent (tho, I had never really celebrated Lent as a protestant...not really). Btw, I thought Catholicism was a cult and Catholics poor duped souls. I was always trying to get Catholic friends to leave the Church.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
And should I really be complaining at all? After all, didn't I bring this on myself...fighting with my younger brother all those years ago...I seem to remember my mom muttering a curse of some kind, that my behavior would be revisited on me. Well, shit, it really has!!! Autumn and Ben and their constant bickering over the dumbest things makes me wonder why I didn't have my ovaries ripped out before I was of childbearing age, like I'm going to have done to my puppy next week.
So, what I am trying to do, when I find that my 13 yr old son has surfed porn for the first ( and better be last) time on my iPad, (there was nothing like opening the browser that day...his PC is completely protected from him looking for it there) is trying to remember the sweet baby I nursed and carried in a sling and adored. And it's not so easy, because what I see in front of me is the greasy headed, smart ass teenager who is so hostile to his little sister and to me and his dad. He lives to bicker and argue and I want to send him flying out the window (without a net). There is no pithy cute happy ending to this post. It's gonna be a long Summer. I hate the heat to begin with, the only upshot to Summer for me is the ability to sleep in, but the new puppy has effectively ended that, sooo I figure I have a couple of months to perfect drinking heavily. But if you hear I'm in the hospital on a morphine drip, because of some 'freak' accident, don't be sad for me. Know that I am
probably enjoying the vacation of a lifetime..... in my head.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
This is my first time blogging with my iPad. So far so good. The only thing is I don't think I have pictures of Tru, our new Husky pup, in my iPad picture folder, so I may have to add them later. Anyway, Tru is here. We got her the day before my birthday and she was actually born on Autumn's birthday, so I thought that was a good sign. Especially since I was picking her up sight unseen and had only reports from her breeder as to her temperament...with TiVo we got to meet his litter and he picked us. Anyway, it's been over a month and she is awesome. For the first month she only had eyes for TiVo and we thought show was never gonna notice any of us. But over the past 2 weeks she has come out of her dog centric world and is becoming attached to us...especially me, but then again, I'm the one with her all the time.
Tru has been great for TiVo. Siberian Huskies really are social dog and while they can be fine in a one dog family they are really happiest when there is, at least, one other dog. For the first 36 hours TiVo wouldn't let Tru move. He had to keep her pinned down and drag her around and show her who was the king of the house in typical Husky (quite wolf like) style. After 2 days they were in love. He still rough houses with her at least once a day to keep her in the #2 slot, but it is killer cute how they play and enjoy each other's company.
Tru loves the dog park as much as TiVo and when we first got her, she was 10 weeks old, and we took her there she walked in like she owned the place. No fear! I loved it. She is almost 4 months old and huge. TiVo is over tall for a Husky, but he is light...54lbs. Tru is already 27lbs! And she is a big girl. She may get close to TiVo's height which would make her tall for a female, but I would be cool with that. I love TiVo's gangly wolfy look.
Of course, the deal with Robert was that I had to rehome the kitties in order to get another Husky. TiVo had been trying to eat the cats since he was about 4 months old. I had a dream last night about all three of them. I miss them a lot. But they we were really unhappy with one dog...2 would have sent them over the edges. I had to split them up. Toonces went to one girl, and Milo and Ginger went to another, but I still crying jags over them. Don't judge me...I judge myself enough. But the dogs go with me everywhere, the cats didn't. The dogs get me out to exercise and meet new people, notsofor the kitties. So, I'm praying that St. Francis continues to watch over my kitties and keep them happy in their new dog free homes.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
This year so far has been pretty fun. In January, we found out that friends we had met on facebook were going to be in our area. It turns out Bill Mueller had a training thing for his job and it was right here in Roswell. He came first and then his wife, Terry, came a couple days later. We had a blast. I was really sorry to see them go at the end of the week. We introduced them to Doctor Who and they introduced us to Coupling. I took Terry all over Roswell, TiVo fell in love with Bill, and then, on Friday, Bill and Terry took us out to a fab dinner at Relish, along with 2 more facebook friends who live here in town, Loren and Tracy Peters (I went to high school with Loren). We had a really good time for 4 people who had never previously met in person. Oh, and we all survived (several friends of mine thought we were insane to invite facebook friends over...I mean what if they killed us). And here is proof that it all went well (Oh, and I now I have to figure out how I am going to get my ass to Illinois where they live.)
I met MUSE, my favorite band in the world and they were such nice guys. It is so awesome to meet people you admire so much and they turn out to be great. They could have been jerks...but they were not. Matt Bellamy, the lead singer, couldn't believe that Andrew was my kid. As if I didn't love Matt enough, I got a compliment. What a cool guy. Thanks to my Hunny and his friend Mike Greene, I got to see the most amazing concert of my life AND got to meet the band too. We chatted with them back stage for about 15 minutes. It was just the 4 of us, Robert, me, Andrew and his longtime pal, Claire. The latter two were virtually hyperventilating at meeting those Rock GODs...and it was adorable to see.
Robert finally got out of for-profit corporate life. A huge prayer was answered and he is now the managing director for internet & new media for the American Cancer Society. It's more a prestige position than a monied position...as most non-profits are. But, we can still stay in our house (we had it for sale for a 4 months) and he is doing something that matters. And that is what we have prayed for for so long. Robert is an amazing husband and stand up guy. He wants to take care of this family as sole provider, so I can be the hand that rocks the cradle at home, but he always wanted to get paid to do something that made a huge positive impact on those around him. So, here's a shout out to the big man upstairs...Thank you, GOD, for making this all happen!!!
On the spirituality front, the last year has been weird. Right now I am in a good place and am praying it sticks. I have gone through a lot of so called 'atheist phases' and I don't like them. They are very dark and dry and lonely...a great breeding ground for anger and selfishness. Sometimes life does seem pointless. I told Robert recently that it (life) seems like a giant hamster wheel we get on and have to keep running on and we only get to get off when we die. Translate that into me feeling exhausted...and bored. I need new things to shake me up.
Lately, I have re-committed myself to caring for myself and losing the few pounds I put on, over the last few months, this after having lost over 30 pounds. How easy it is to slip off the saddle. Luckily, it was less than 10lbs, 5 of which are gone...so I am on track. I am feeling so much better. It's not fun getting out of control and feeling that you can't seem to help yourself. I am happy to be back in the saddle and taking it day by day to stay there.
The kids are all doing really well. Autumn has been in a really cool homeschool co-op this year and the time off (for me) and added social interaction for her has been fabulous. Next month she has a jazz recital...they are dancing to All That Jazz from Chicago and should be adorable. Here is Autumn with the girl half of the her co op, there are 3 boys in it too.
I think I am gonna go bake something yummy now. I am off wheat again, due to allergies. I am thinking this time I should stay off of it for good, but we'll see. Wheat definitely bothers me most in Spring and Summer as it causes my eczema to flare. I have been off of it over a week now and my hand eczema is almost healed. You know what else is weird...I swear I am addicted to wheat. When I am not eating it, I don't have the insane food cravings I normally do...the very same cravings that got me into trouble gaining almost 10 pounds back of the 30 I lost. I wonder if there is something too that? All I know is that in 2 or 3 days time my hands will look and feel normal again and that is worth everything. Besides, I made a KILLER gluten free version of my favorite cake 'Tres Leches' and it soooooo frickin good, I dare anyone to guess it's not made with wheat flour.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Sunday, September 6, 2009
I am sick and tired of the Olbermanns, Maddows, and the combined media outlets of MSNBC, NBC, ABC, CBS oh and the Bill Mahers and Jeaneane Garafolo's painting me as some fringe right wing idiot.
You know why I like Glenn Beck, because he acts like a regular dude who doesn't talk down to me. O'Reilly doesn't take shit from anyone, and Dennis Miller, having once been a wacked out Liberal, knows how to show them up for who they really are....and his insults are par excellence. I can't handle Hannity because he is too partisan. Plus, I am not a Republican. I am a pro-life Libertarian. Glenn Beck is too. He genuinely seems to want to know what the fuck is really going on, while so many people sit complacently in their EZ Boys figuring that everything will turn out OK.
Did any of my friggin peers read 1984? Do you really think any political party trying to get all the power in all 3 branches of the government, and co-opting most of the media is a good thing? You don't see conservatives out there trying to get Olbermann off the air. Yet, Czar Van Jone's group was responsible for pulling 50 advertisers from Beck's show. Geesh, are you Libs really that worried? Holy shit! Can't there be differing points of view or is it only yours that counts? So all you liberal scaredy cats are gonna try (it won't happen) and try to get Beck off the air. Am I not allowed to hear differing points of view. You mean I have be stuck with Olbermann, Maher, Couric, and that lot? Are you fucking kidding me??????
To that Garafolo bitch I would like to say that I am NOT a racist. I love Alan Keyes, I think Michael Steele is a cool son of bitch. Thomas Sowell is smarter than everyone at the Daily Kos put together. Condoleeza Rice is a bad ass, and she would be an awesome president. BUT somehow I am a racist because I didn't want a 'particular' black man as president. STFU, you stupid Hollywood skank!
Olbermann: I watch your show. Lately, you do and say nothing substantive. All you do is show clips from Glenn Beck and then act like someone slipped you some frigging Meth. Take a Xanax and calm down. Sorry ratings suck....but you do and that's why.
Bill Maher: the ONLY thing you and I agree on is that marijuana should be legalized and have the shit taxed out of it. I think alcohol is far more dangerous. Drunks kill people, start bar fights, cause domestic violence. Potheads laugh alot. So, I think my more strictly conservative friends need to lighten up on this issue. Geesh, just a little more than 100 years ago you could get cocaine at the drugstore. Other than that, Bill, I think you are the most smarmy, snobbish, asshole with the biggest superiority complex next to Obama himself. But you know what? As much as I loathe you, I will defend voraciously yor right to the airwaves and your free speech. Too bad your ilk is all behind the Fairness (NOT) Doctrine and want to kill my ability to listen to Rush, Laura Ingraham, Glenn Beck or Michael Medved.
Mainstream media: Catch this clue....your ratings are tanking because everyone believes you are so far up the Obama administration's ass that you will find polyps before his Proctologist does! I watched Maddow and she didn't have one, not one, conservative or libertarian guest. The whole show was skewed to the left and openly mocked those on the right. That???? is fair and balanced????? Yeah, right. You are all such LOSERS. The press and the media are always, always supposed to be there for 'the people' and constantly critique the powers in Washington. And this is not happening anymore. What is so hysterically funny to me is that Progressive Liberals have become 'the Establishment' that the original liberals from the 60's so hated. So whoopee, I am a bonified non-conformist!
I don't want the federal government in my local schools, in my healthcare (medicaid, medicare are fucked up enough and going broke...woo hoo...the government is SOOOOO GOOD at what it does...NOT) I don't want them in my churches, syagogues, mosques, temples, teepees..where ever. I don't want them insinuating themselves into the homeschooling of my children. I don't want them taking over or bailing out banks, oil companies, car companies any companies. You can protect the nation, build roads, dams and bridges and back off of everything else.
And last, President Obama, you know had it been 1973 when you were born, you might not have been. Thanks so much for you care of the unborn. Thanks for saying you didn't want either of your daughters to ever have to deal with the mistake of a unplanned pregnancy = BABY. I had a baby who wasn't planned. I had people tell me to get rid of 'it'. Hmmmm, surprisingly my 'it' is downstairs on the couch, getting ready for work, looking over some college work. Surprisingly, my 'it' isn't an it. It's not even a lump of tissue.... It's a human, a man. He is a man of almost 20. The world would be a much sorrier place without him. Though, of course, to you he was a mistake. You know what? YOU are the mistake America made when voting you in as President.
Keep your hands off my religion, and my guns (if I ever get any), and my Democratic Republic. Fire your Czars. There is no room in American for anyone with the title of Czar. Besides which, all these unvetted Czars are not constitutional.
Oh and would you like to know who I am.
I am a woman who gave life to my child when confronted with an unplanned pregnancy, instead of killing him for my convenience.
I am a woman who stayed home to raise my children because I see children as worthwile, not just things to aquire or DNA to be passed on.
I am a woman who breastfed her kids through toddlerhood, not just for a few days.
I am a woman who co-slept with her nursing babies instead isolating them to a lonely room in a little jail called a crib.
I am a woman who cloth diapered all of her kids. I washed them myself and hung them out to dry. How Donna Reed of me.
I am woman who does not like to be referred to, by my kids friends, as Mrs. Ross or Miss Rachel, Rachel is fine with me.
I am a woman who homeschooled her kids, not for religious reasons, but because I think school is a very dysfunctional system that is in no way based on the way people really live.
I am a woman who, as a homeschooler, was an unschooler, which meant my kids learned what, when, why and where they wanted to learn. No forcing of lessons here. My oldest is now a sophmore in college.
I am a woman who thought it was crazy that when her son turned 18 he could fight and die for this country, or get married, but wasn't allowed to have a drink. A drinking age of 21 is dumb.
I am a woman who was a devout Evangelical Protestant who hated Catholicism and then, 4 years ago, become a Catholic (don't tell me God isn't hysterical). I don't pretend to be perfect or all together because I am a serious work-in-progress.
I am a woman who thinks the theory of evolution takes far more blind faith to believe in than the theory of intelligent design. But if they are going to teach evolution then they need to teach intelligent design (which is different from the idea of fundamentalist creationism). Afterall, how many times can you through up flour, butter, sugar, and eggs and have it come down a cake....uh...NEVER. So if you know someone 'designed' your car, home, shoes, clothes etc....you better darn well get it through your thick atheist skulls that someone or something DESIGNED this planet.
I am a woman who is very committed to traditional marriage and values, but believes that the government needs to get entirely out of the marriage licensing business altogether. EVERYONE should receive a civil union license and then go on to get married at the religious or civic venue of their choice, provided that venue has no ideological problem with same sex marriage. If the Marriage Act is off the table and everyone gets C.U. license, then a gay/lesbian/transgender couple can't force any denomination which believes eclusively in man/woman marriage to marry them. Yet, they can still get married. That way everyone (and their beliefs) is protected.
I am a woman who loves my God, my husband, my kids, my pets, my friends, my country. I swear like a sailor, but I am a fiercly loyal friend. I love great coffee, great food, great sex (with said husbad), great conversations, a cool buzz (every now and again), alternative rock music, vampires, Catholic saints, apologetics, cute guys, Monty Python, SNL, Family Guy, staying up late and then sleeping in, cold rainy weather (snow is even better) and breaking schedules. I love to live my life on the fly and hate making plans.
I am a woman who WILL NOT BACK DOWN fighting for the right to be who I am and for the right for you to be who you are...even if we disagree.
DO I SOUND LIKE WHAT ONE WOULD PERCEIVE AS RIGHT WING EXTREMIST??
I am an American and proud of it. I will NOT apologize for wanting to keep my country free of an oppressively large, powerhungry, money-grabbing, and increasingly out-of-touch government.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Okay, so I may be ADHD out the wazoo, but I absolutely cannot focus on multiple blogs. They actually make me squirrelly (sp)? Anyway, my one and only blog here has to reflect everthing about me. I removed myself from one and deleted the other one. My love of my family, my love of unschooling, my love of the Catholic faith, my love of Siberian Huskies...TiVo in particular, my love of food, music, movies, books and yes...even hot guys.
So, I started blogging and then stopped because I become addicted to a facebook game called farmtown.
Let me tell you it is my own little piece of cyber zen. What is funny is how Robert has given me shit about it. This coming from a guy who played Ultima Online and Everquest for the first 7 years of our marriage. I was a gamer widow. He is now into his iMac, iPhone, audiobooks and facebook. So, I do see alot more than the back of his head these days...well for the last 5+ years easily. :-) Now it is his turn to see the back of my head. HA!
Also, as it typically my style, I am in the midst of reading 3 books. The first one is Memnoch, The Devil by Anne Rice. It's the 5th book in her Vampire Chronicles. The second book is Four Witnesses by Rod Bennet. He is a former Baptist now Catholic and this book is a compilation of 4 of the earliest Church Fathers. The last book is a food memoir and cookbook by Shauna James Ahern called Gluten Free Girl. It is soooo good. I have been gluten free for a bit now....with a few glutinous run ins...and do feel ALOT better without it. Go to Shauna's blog for awesome food, pictures and writing...no matter whether you eat gluten or not: Gluten Free Girl
Robert is still at Suntrust...amazing to still be employed by a bank after 2 years...especially now. They are doing stupid corporate team building this week and my Hunny just wants someone to shoot him in the face. He hates this stuff. I don't blame him. I went to a cocktail party with some people I didn't know and having to small talk was KILLING ME. I bolted early because I thought I would explode.
Andy is downstairs with his band doing some run througs as they have a recording studio session later today. Andrew (drums/vocals) and his band: Eric (guitar), Harrison (bass) are most likely going to change their name from Iconoclast (because there are too many of those) to Absence of Ocean. It is a fitting name as the trio have moved in a definitively POST ROCK direction. For those of you in the know think: Sigur Ros without the Icelandic.
Autumn is playing with Morgan, who is over for the afternoon. My girlie and I have recently gotten into My Sims Town on Wii and love playing it together. She also wants to go to the pool all the time. I don't mind as long as it is late. I hate the sun....something I have in commom with Lestat and Edward.
Ben is, as usual, perpetually plugged into the matrix. The XBOX 360 broke in late Spring (the dreaded red ring of death) but I sent if off and it came back within a week...all fixed up and saving my Summer! I also troubleshot the Wii and fixed that too. Pretty amazing since my husband thinks technology and I don't mix. However, he told me he was done with dealing with gaming systems, so I had to learn fast and on the fly. I am proud I did it. I, however, can't get into Ben's games. Right now he is into Far Cry 2. Thank God for Xbox Live so he can play online with his friends.
Last are my kitties, still pissed that Mr. Dog (TiVo) is still here and alive. TiVo is awesome, just awesome. He has turned into such a good boy. He is a big Husky too. These days he spends his days lying around in the AC where ever I happen to be. He is sound asleep right now because Andy's band practice just puts him right out. Meanwhile the cats are all having panic attacks at the loudness of the music. TiVo is also a regular at our local dog park and I know almost every dog there by name and most of the owners names. He has a bunch of Husky friends: Misha, Aspen, Ozzie, Max, Banshee, Darby, Luca, Darla, Dexter, Morgan, Sage, Simon, Tory, Kota. That is alot of Siberian Huskies. I don't think I am missing anyone. He has some other best dogpark pals too: Cosby: schnoodle (black schnauzer/poodle), Mirabelle: black/white harlequin Great Dane, Maya: caramel/white pitbull mix and Max: black/white Karolean Bear Dog (very cool). Then there are my friends dogs: Einsten (Kath's labradoodle/australian shepherd mix) and Danny and Doris (Lisa's mixed puppies). Last, across the street is Gretchen a shepherd mix. They play in Gretchen's yard together. As you can see TiVo is the dog about town. I take him to the dog park at least 5 days a week. Lately we go at 8pm coz it's alot cooler. It's really fun to watch him play.
Last Friday, in typical Husky style, Tivo, for the first time, escaped from our yard. It was 3am when we realized he was missing. The last time I actually saw him out front was 1am. (We have an underground fence system). Well, I didn't have his collar on snuggly enough so he ran right through the charge and didn't feel anything....and he just kept going. My husband took off on foot and I drove everywhere that I walk or take TiVo. Finally, on my way home thinking he was gone for good, I notice my husband walking him home on the leash. Turns out TiVo had run across the street behind the school to the huge park. He was muddy and wet and pretty darn happy. I am just glad he is safe.
Originally posted by Peter Robinson via The Corner at National Review Online.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
I know I am just not blogging enough. I was fb'ing with my friend Helen and she mentioned how she does alot of writing in her head, well so do I. I have always got something to say or that I want to talk about but never seem to have the time to really sit and write. Well, since Ben got out of school last Thursday at noon and Autumn used saved money to buy herself a pre-owned DS Lite, I might actually get some time to write in lieu of my micro-blogging on facebook.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Ok, I suck, I know. There I was just blogging along and then I got sucked into the black hole called Facebook. I have missed writing here, tho. However, since today is my birthday, I figured it would be as a good a day as any to start back up.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Glenn Favreau summarises our current understanding of Maciel:
Over the years, I have come to an intimate knowledge of the workings of the Legion and the place that Maciel is given in these workings. I have carefully studied many diverse responses to the person of Maciel as his private life and public activities have come to light and been commented upon. I am of the opinion that Marcial Maciel began the with no spiritual motivation whatsoever. He was a . He was a very good con man. Whether he was caught up in the typical con man's dilemma of believing his own con or not will probably never be known, unless he confided to this to individuals outside of the Legion of Christ.
If Maciel were of any other profession (outside of the Catholic Church) and committed this type of fraud in any other framework, we would call him a con man with out any hesitation. Unfortunately, we naturally try to save the perceived "spiritual" aspect since we share in it as Catholics. I say “unfortunately” , because if we could overcome our own bias in this regard, we could put this entire saga into the annals of the history of the greatest cons of our time, and make peace with the fact that we bought into it, we were mistaken, and we can move on.
When you compare the reaction that faithful Catholics have about the "gifts" that Maciel left to the Church, no one can beat Diogenes for an analogy:
[C]onsider a woman whose husband ingeniously hid his infidelities from her for many years. Once she realized she had been deceived, the gifts he brought back from his business trips would be understood to have been instruments in that deception. Far from cherishing the jewelry he gave her, she'd feel that the diamonds now mocked the affection and fidelity they symbolized. By the same token, Maciel's addresses will be spiritually kosher -- he was after all a highly successful deceiver. But those addresses dishonor the very truths they expound, and it's impossible that they can cause anything but distress and confusion in those who attempt to nourish themselves on them.
If we consider that the victims of Maciel (not the physical abuse victims, but the hood-winked rank-and-file) are in the position of the foolish wife who trusted a man despite the warnings of others, we will understand their trauma, their reaction, their fumbling about for explanations. Betrayal is a horrific thing and it takes tremendous grace -- especially humility -- to arrive at the fullness of truth. It takes grace -- and time.
If it helps, we can remember that he fooled the hierarchy as well (the one's he didn't pay off to help cover his game) and his cloak of orthodoxy is a "plug and play" for those who understand the faith. As his followers attest, the "charism" is nothing more than Basic Catholicism -- so he didn't even take the time to invent something new. What the Magisterium didn't provide, Stephen Covey did. A clever con, but only a con in the end.
February 18, 2009 in Deceit for the Kingdom
Friday, February 27, 2009
We should never lie for any reason whatsoever. It is a mortal sin when God is greatly offended by causing damage against religion, the Church or Authority, or when the name and good reputation of other people is considerably damaged… “Lips that lie are abhorrent to Yahweh” (Proverbs 12:22). (Bermuda 23 February 1962)
If you want to convince others of the value of a certain lifestyle, you will attain little or nothing if you yourself do not demonstrate your personal convictions by your actions. Such is the wisdom of the popular refrain, “Actions speak louder than words.” (Rome 1 November 1991)
These are passages of Maciel that cannot now be read with a straight face let alone serve as spiritual nourishment. Will Legionary novices, as they have in the past, continue to learn the charism from daily study of the many volumes of Cartas de Nuestro Padre? (Can they still call him “Nuestro Padre”?) Can we learn from a hypocrite to hate hypocrisy? By his own words, his impurity, lying, and hypocrisy rendered Maciel’s ministry fruitless and abhorrent to God. His own words refute the Legionary claim to recognize the good that can come even from a flawed instrument.. And if we must discard some of Maciel’s writings because they have become inconvenient, what is the criterion for choosing and keeping any of them?
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
I hope everyone, who celebrates Lent, will have a blessed Ash Wednesday and Lent. Here is an amazingly wonderful prayer that I found while in Adoration. It is in the January 2009 edition of the Magnificat. I typed it here because it is so wonderful I want everyone who doesn't know about (or like me, subscribe to) the Magnificat to be able to use it. My friend Sara and I are going to say this prayer each day of Lent. We thought it was a perfect prayer for Lent, since it has to do with conversion. ~Peace
Litany of Ongoing Conversion
Response: Lord, give me the grace of conversion.
When I look at my life from the starting point of my own insufficiencies instead if from the fact of your compassion, grace, and love for me. R
When I would prefer to live by my own thoughts and my own understanding instead of by your Truth which alone can set me
When I would rather brood over what annoys me than to turn myself over to you who always invite me to come to you, R
When I obsess over self-absorption, complacency, and self-assertiveness, R
When I get dejected about my sin, not because it offends you, but because it prevents me from being able to take delight in myself, R
Whenever I live in a dualistic way, as if my faith and my “real life” are two separate things, R
When I am deceived into thinking my happiness depends on something in the future instead of what you give me in the present, R
When discouragement and shame make it hard for me to be faithful, R
When I become distraught over the evil I would commit if left to myself, forgetting that I do not live according to myself but that I live in you, R
When self-doubt and fear seem to have the last say, R
When I miss the point of my fragility, a gift you give me so that I will be prompted to rely on you, R
When I am inclined to interpret my problems as punishment and my miseries as being abandoned by God, R
When impenetrability takes over my life, making me resistant to your beauty and all the little ways you ordain to give yourself to me, R
When I get distracted, my emotions, my passions, my regrets, R
When I get duped into thinking I must fix myself up in order to have a relationship with you, forgetting that you come to me with your love just the way I am, R
When I treat my faith like some answer to be sought instead of as a loving Presence to be affirmed, R
When I get discouraged by chronic or recurring sins in my life, R
When I would attempt to earn your favor by my achievements, forgetting that I did not choose you, but it is you who chose me, R
When scandalized by my own selfishness and self-assertion, R
When the oppressive nihilism of life makes me ignore or reduce the desires of my heart that lead me to you, R
When independence or self-sufficiency make me resist the companionship with others through which you will to give me your friendship and tenderness, R
Whenever I treat my preconceptions like idols that drain my life of wonder and simplicity, R
When the evidence of all that is wrong with my life leads me to become paralyzed, indifferent, or lax, R
When I get preoccupied with all my self-justifications try to convince myself that I am lovable, R
When I would rather live my life in a safe and sheltered way instead of living my life as a risk, putting your will first in all things, R
When the daily inner rebellion makes me cynical and negative about what really matters most, R
When my misgivings keep me from receiving the fresh embrace of love you offer me every moment, R
~ Our Father…