It's been so long.

Okay, so I have no idea what to say, except that facebook is so damn fun that I forgot about my blog. I started writing this as a way for my kids to see what a wacky mom they have. Then it kind of became a journal. I got alot out that first year and it was good for me.

This year so far has been pretty fun. In January, we found out that friends we had met on facebook were going to be in our area. It turns out Bill Mueller had a training thing for his job and it was right here in Roswell. He came first and then his wife, Terry, came a couple days later. We had a blast. I was really sorry to see them go at the end of the week. We introduced them to Doctor Who and they introduced us to Coupling. I took Terry all over Roswell, TiVo fell in love with Bill, and then, on Friday, Bill and Terry took us out to a fab dinner at Relish, along with 2 more facebook friends who live here in town, Loren and Tracy Peters (I went to high school with Loren). We had a really good time for 4 people who had never previously met in person. Oh, and we all survived (several friends of mine thought we were insane to invite facebook friends over...I mean what if they killed us). And here is proof that it all went well (Oh, and I now I have to figure out how I am going to get my ass to Illinois where they live.)


I met MUSE, my favorite band in the world and they were such nice guys. It is so awesome to meet people you admire so much and they turn out to be great. They could have been jerks...but they were not. Matt Bellamy, the lead singer, couldn't believe that Andrew was my kid. As if I didn't love Matt enough, I got a compliment. What a cool guy. Thanks to my Hunny and his friend Mike Greene, I got to see the most amazing concert of my life AND got to meet the band too. We chatted with them back stage for about 15 minutes. It was just the 4 of us, Robert, me, Andrew and his longtime pal, Claire. The latter two were virtually hyperventilating at meeting those Rock GODs...and it was adorable to see.
Robert finally got out of for-profit corporate life. A huge prayer was answered and he is now the managing director for internet & new media for the American Cancer Society. It's more a prestige position than a monied position...as most non-profits are. But, we can still stay in our house (we had it for sale for a 4 months) and he is doing something that matters. And that is what we have prayed for for so long. Robert is an amazing husband and stand up guy. He wants to take care of this family as sole provider, so I can be the hand that rocks the cradle at home, but he always wanted to get paid to do something that made a huge positive impact on those around him. So, here's a shout out to the big man upstairs...Thank you, GOD, for making this all happen!!!

Now, I am thinking of adding a new puppy to the mix. Before that happens I have to re-home our 3 cats. It's not something I want to do, but no one pays any attention to them, or takes care of them anymore and it sucks. I change their litter and feed them, but I am the primary carer of the dog, so I am in and out of the cats business pretty quickly. I love Toonces the most, will miss him desperately, but the cats were for the kids. They are growing up and don't care. Everyone loves TiVo and it's not hard to understand why. He is awesome, and loving and interacts with everyone. The cats interact on their terms...whenever that is. And those 3 fluffy idiots could have become friends with TiVo, but they would have nothing to do with him and now that he is big they are afraid of him. I'm kind of sick of living in the Gaza strip of my own home. There are zones for the cats and the dog and it's gotten really old. Before anyone gives me any crap, understand, I wouldn't give away a kid. These are animals. If they are not happy, I believe I should help them to be so. I love all animals....I really do. But when it comes down to brass tax I am a dog girl. I love walking TiVo, I love taking him to the dog park. I love all the social interaction he brings to me. I am an extrovert...and I believe cats are for introverts. NO judgement, just a statement. I drive around with TiVo all day. He comes with me everywhere. I can't take my cats anywhere. Anyway, that's what going on there.
On the spirituality front, the last year has been weird. Right now I am in a good place and am praying it sticks. I have gone through a lot of so called 'atheist phases' and I don't like them. They are very dark and dry and lonely...a great breeding ground for anger and selfishness. Sometimes life does seem pointless. I told Robert recently that it (life) seems like a giant hamster wheel we get on and have to keep running on and we only get to get off when we die. Translate that into me feeling exhausted...and bored. I need new things to shake me up.

Lately, I have re-committed myself to caring for myself and losing the few pounds I put on, over the last few months, this after having lost over 30 pounds. How easy it is to slip off the saddle. Luckily, it was less than 10lbs, 5 of which are gone...so I am on track. I am feeling so much better. It's not fun getting out of control and feeling that you can't seem to help yourself. I am happy to be back in the saddle and taking it day by day to stay there.

The kids are all doing really well. Autumn has been in a really cool homeschool co-op this year and the time off (for me) and added social interaction for her has been fabulous. Next month she has a jazz recital...they are dancing to All That Jazz from Chicago and should be adorable. Here is Autumn with the girl half of the her co op, there are 3 boys in it too.

Ben is almost done with his 7th grade year at the Cottage School and boy howdy do I love that place and everything it's done for our boy. Ben is really doing so much better this year, on all fronts, than he has in the past. I have high hopes that things are going to continue to change for the better, for 'the Bendamin'. Oh, and Ben's braces finally came off...look how handsome.

Andrew, my handsome vulcan son, is still working at Trader Joe's...almost 2 years. I am so pround of him. He has just a couple weeks left and will be done with his sophmore year at Georgia State. He is still living at home (which I love) and still plugging away at his post-rock band, Absence of Ocean. He has taught himself how to play guitar and writes alot of songs. All in all, he's pretty damn cool. I love him to bits...just wish he were a little more chatty....how is he my kid??? I mean, he looks just like me so I know he is mine....but talk about opposite. One great thing is that Andrew will be 21 in 6 months and then I can send him on booze runs for me and Robert....woo hoo!! LOL Below is Andrew's shocked, "I just met Muse" face.
I think I am gonna go bake something yummy now. I am off wheat again, due to allergies. I am thinking this time I should stay off of it for good, but we'll see. Wheat definitely bothers me most in Spring and Summer as it causes my eczema to flare. I have been off of it over a week now and my hand eczema is almost healed. You know what else is weird...I swear I am addicted to wheat. When I am not eating it, I don't have the insane food cravings I normally do...the very same cravings that got me into trouble gaining almost 10 pounds back of the 30 I lost. I wonder if there is something too that? All I know is that in 2 or 3 days time my hands will look and feel normal again and that is worth everything. Besides, I made a KILLER gluten free version of my favorite cake 'Tres Leches' and it soooooo frickin good, I dare anyone to guess it's not made with wheat flour.

Oh yeah, how could I forget a really cool thing...we now have a Keurig One Cup coffee making system and it is the coolest thing in the universe...and yes, I have even seen and played with the iPad. But really great coffee (which I don't need to roast, or grind or measure or brew) in a minute is freaking awesome when you are as addicted to the substance as I am!! My birthday is coming up this Thursday, the 29th. I love K-Cups...send me some!! ;-)


Later,
Rach

WARNING!!! Foul Language and a very fed up blogger.

Here's the deal (to coin a phrase from my youth).
I am sick and tired of the Olbermanns, Maddows, and the combined media outlets of MSNBC, NBC, ABC, CBS oh and the Bill Mahers and Jeaneane Garafolo's painting me as some fringe right wing idiot.

You know why I like Glenn Beck, because he acts like a regular dude who doesn't talk down to me. O'Reilly doesn't take shit from anyone, and Dennis Miller, having once been a wacked out Liberal, knows how to show them up for who they really are....and his insults are par excellence. I can't handle Hannity because he is too partisan. Plus, I am not a Republican. I am a pro-life Libertarian. Glenn Beck is too. He genuinely seems to want to know what the fuck is really going on, while so many people sit complacently in their EZ Boys figuring that everything will turn out OK.

Did any of my friggin peers read 1984? Do you really think any political party trying to get all the power in all 3 branches of the government, and co-opting most of the media is a good thing? You don't see conservatives out there trying to get Olbermann off the air. Yet, Czar Van Jone's group was responsible for pulling 50 advertisers from Beck's show. Geesh, are you Libs really that worried? Holy shit! Can't there be differing points of view or is it only yours that counts? So all you liberal scaredy cats are gonna try (it won't happen) and try to get Beck off the air. Am I not allowed to hear differing points of view. You mean I have be stuck with Olbermann, Maher, Couric, and that lot? Are you fucking kidding me??????

To that Garafolo bitch I would like to say that I am NOT a racist. I love Alan Keyes, I think Michael Steele is a cool son of bitch. Thomas Sowell is smarter than everyone at the Daily Kos put together. Condoleeza Rice is a bad ass, and she would be an awesome president. BUT somehow I am a racist because I didn't want a 'particular' black man as president. STFU, you stupid Hollywood skank!

Olbermann: I watch your show. Lately, you do and say nothing substantive. All you do is show clips from Glenn Beck and then act like someone slipped you some frigging Meth. Take a Xanax and calm down. Sorry ratings suck....but you do and that's why.

Bill Maher: the ONLY thing you and I agree on is that marijuana should be legalized and have the shit taxed out of it. I think alcohol is far more dangerous. Drunks kill people, start bar fights, cause domestic violence. Potheads laugh alot. So, I think my more strictly conservative friends need to lighten up on this issue. Geesh, just a little more than 100 years ago you could get cocaine at the drugstore. Other than that, Bill, I think you are the most smarmy, snobbish, asshole with the biggest superiority complex next to Obama himself. But you know what? As much as I loathe you, I will defend voraciously yor right to the airwaves and your free speech. Too bad your ilk is all behind the Fairness (NOT) Doctrine and want to kill my ability to listen to Rush, Laura Ingraham, Glenn Beck or Michael Medved.

Mainstream media: Catch this clue....your ratings are tanking because everyone believes you are so far up the Obama administration's ass that you will find polyps before his Proctologist does! I watched Maddow and she didn't have one, not one, conservative or libertarian guest. The whole show was skewed to the left and openly mocked those on the right. That???? is fair and balanced????? Yeah, right. You are all such LOSERS. The press and the media are always, always supposed to be there for 'the people' and constantly critique the powers in Washington. And this is not happening anymore. What is so hysterically funny to me is that Progressive Liberals have become 'the Establishment' that the original liberals from the 60's so hated. So whoopee, I am a bonified non-conformist!

I don't want the federal government in my local schools, in my healthcare (medicaid, medicare are fucked up enough and going broke...woo hoo...the government is SOOOOO GOOD at what it does...NOT) I don't want them in my churches, syagogues, mosques, temples, teepees..where ever. I don't want them insinuating themselves into the homeschooling of my children. I don't want them taking over or bailing out banks, oil companies, car companies any companies. You can protect the nation, build roads, dams and bridges and back off of everything else.

And last, President Obama, you know had it been 1973 when you were born, you might not have been. Thanks so much for you care of the unborn. Thanks for saying you didn't want either of your daughters to ever have to deal with the mistake of a unplanned pregnancy = BABY. I had a baby who wasn't planned. I had people tell me to get rid of 'it'. Hmmmm, surprisingly my 'it' is downstairs on the couch, getting ready for work, looking over some college work. Surprisingly, my 'it' isn't an it. It's not even a lump of tissue.... It's a human, a man. He is a man of almost 20. The world would be a much sorrier place without him. Though, of course, to you he was a mistake. You know what? YOU are the mistake America made when voting you in as President.

Keep your hands off my religion, and my guns (if I ever get any), and my Democratic Republic. Fire your Czars. There is no room in American for anyone with the title of Czar. Besides which, all these unvetted Czars are not constitutional.

Oh and would you like to know who I am.

I am a woman who gave life to my child when confronted with an unplanned pregnancy, instead of killing him for my convenience.
I am a woman who stayed home to raise my children because I see children as worthwile, not just things to aquire or DNA to be passed on.
I am a woman who breastfed her kids through toddlerhood, not just for a few days.
I am a woman who co-slept with her nursing babies instead isolating them to a lonely room in a little jail called a crib.
I am a woman who cloth diapered all of her kids. I washed them myself and hung them out to dry. How Donna Reed of me.
I am woman who does not like to be referred to, by my kids friends, as Mrs. Ross or Miss Rachel, Rachel is fine with me.
I am a woman who homeschooled her kids, not for religious reasons, but because I think school is a very dysfunctional system that is in no way based on the way people really live.
I am a woman who, as a homeschooler, was an unschooler, which meant my kids learned what, when, why and where they wanted to learn. No forcing of lessons here. My oldest is now a sophmore in college.
I am a woman who thought it was crazy that when her son turned 18 he could fight and die for this country, or get married, but wasn't allowed to have a drink. A drinking age of 21 is dumb.
I am a woman who was a devout Evangelical Protestant who hated Catholicism and then, 4 years ago, become a Catholic (don't tell me God isn't hysterical). I don't pretend to be perfect or all together because I am a serious work-in-progress.

I am a woman who thinks the theory of evolution takes far more blind faith to believe in than the theory of intelligent design. But if they are going to teach evolution then they need to teach intelligent design (which is different from the idea of fundamentalist creationism). Afterall, how many times can you through up flour, butter, sugar, and eggs and have it come down a cake....uh...NEVER. So if you know someone 'designed' your car, home, shoes, clothes etc....you better darn well get it through your thick atheist skulls that someone or something DESIGNED this planet.

I am a woman who is very committed to traditional marriage and values, but believes that the government needs to get entirely out of the marriage licensing business altogether. EVERYONE should receive a civil union license and then go on to get married at the religious or civic venue of their choice, provided that venue has no ideological problem with same sex marriage. If the Marriage Act is off the table and everyone gets C.U. license, then a gay/lesbian/transgender couple can't force any denomination which believes eclusively in man/woman marriage to marry them. Yet, they can still get married. That way everyone (and their beliefs) is protected.

I am a woman who loves my God, my husband, my kids, my pets, my friends, my country. I swear like a sailor, but I am a fiercly loyal friend. I love great coffee, great food, great sex (with said husbad), great conversations, a cool buzz (every now and again), alternative rock music, vampires, Catholic saints, apologetics, cute guys, Monty Python, SNL, Family Guy, staying up late and then sleeping in, cold rainy weather (snow is even better) and breaking schedules. I love to live my life on the fly and hate making plans.

I am a woman who WILL NOT BACK DOWN fighting for the right to be who I am and for the right for you to be who you are...even if we disagree.

DO I SOUND LIKE WHAT ONE WOULD PERCEIVE AS RIGHT WING EXTREMIST??

I am an American and proud of it. I will NOT apologize for wanting to keep my country free of an oppressively large, powerhungry, money-grabbing, and increasingly out-of-touch government.

29th day of April = 43 years old.

Ok, I suck, I know. There I was just blogging along and then I got sucked into the black hole called Facebook. I have missed writing here, tho.  However, since today is my birthday, I figured it would be as a good a day as any to start back up. 

So, how do things stand for Rach, on this, the 43rd year of her birth? 

Mentally, I am doing pretty well. We are heading into mid Spring and I feel 'up'. Unlike most people dealing with mood issues, I tend to start heading down this time of year. BUT, since I did that this past Fall (lucky me!!!) maybe there is hope, for me, that I am going to have a good Summer (which would be a first counting the last 5+ years).  I have to give credit to facebook here. It is a great place for instant feedback. For instance, today, it's been a non stop flood of Birthday wishes. It's a great, drugless and free mood enhancer. Also, the fact that Ben has done REALLY WELL at The Cottage School, this year, helps too. Andy is doing great at GA State and Trader Joe's, Autumn is having fun homeschooling and is even enrolled in a cool new co-op for next year. And my marriage is spectacular...coz I have a great Hunny Bunny.

Physically, I am falling apart. This past year, I lost 30+ pounds. I have maintained that loss, but have done a fair job of screwing up my knees and right hip. I never got into a running program, only walked, but I think I was never really careful of 'how' I walked.  Like, I never really was careful how I held my posture and/or came down on my feet when ascending or descending hills etc... So, tomorrow, I have my first appt with an Orthopedic doc. The first guy I am going to see deals with hips and knees. Then I have to make a 2nd appt to see one who deals with neck and shoulders. I was in a car accident 9 years ago. I had extensive therapy and chiropractic care for several years...then I thought I was fine. Well, no. I have been back at the Chiropractor for a month with not a ton of progress being made. Today was a horrible day, pain wise. I went to my Chiro and still felt horrible after my adjustment. He continued to work on me to no avail. Both of us were stumped. Normally, I get some immediate relief. I took some extra strength OTC painkiller and it's hasn't touched the pain. This freaks me out because I am worried if I don't keep up the activity I normally do that I am going to gain some weight back...and that will suck....any suggestions?

Spiritually, it's been a weird year. Very dry. I had been doing so well (the fact that I said 'I' is probably indicative of my problem...it's about Him, right, not me) for the first 5 years of my conversion to Catholicism. Now that I am working toward my 6th year, things are getting murky. That zeal I had has really ebbed away. It's bumming me out. I am feeling what I can only imagine is a mid-life crisis. I really thought I would have had another kid. Kids are great with giving someone purpose. However, I think my ovaries ran away. C'mon, who can blame them? Let's just say Robert and I have done our part on many an optimal occasion and I feel like Yukon Cornelius from Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer when, while digging for gold, he threw his ice pick into the ice, pulled it out, licked it and said, "Nothin!"  So, I guess I am feeling aimless and purposeless now. Yes, of course, my hubby and kids still need me. But it's so much less engrossing than the needs of an infant or toddler. I kinda feel like I should be put out to pasture (trust me, I know this is just a feeling...but still).  So, God is clearly working on this with me...and we shall see what happens.

Well, I guess I will just have to be hopeful that this new year for me will be one of physical and spiritual renewal. 

Peace,

Hair Horror Stories

Okay, I only have 2 real stories. The first is when my mom's sisters would take me every Summer (in Southampton, NY) to get my hair cut (OFF) because they thought I was sooooo cute with short hair. Well, that all came to a screeching halt the Summer I was 12 and after getting my hair cut (OFF) my dad took me for ice cream and the guy behind the counter said, "And what does your son want?" I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE SON!!! I was a late developer okay!!! As you can see in the pic below (at 13 years old), I would have been a very pretty boy.
Proof that I have always had the same haircut (except for the shearing my aunts did to me) behold my baby bob below:

Oh, I almost forgot the 2nd horror story. I had had my hair highlighted. It looked really great. So, when it was time to get it redone I went and my stylist was gone. So, they stuck me with a new guy who left it on too long and the top layer of my head was blonde and underneath was brown...lovely!  That was about 7 years ago...never had my hair highlighted since.

Peace,

A shocking epiphany

I know there is a really good chance my kids will read this someday, so it is probably not a good idea to write this down. Also, some may not like me as much for being honest but here it is: I don't like kids. I love babies and toddlers, maybe preschoolers, but between about 5 & 6 and 13&14 they could all be away at a boarding school and I think I would be happy. I think teenagers, at least the ones I know personally, are really cool. So, this leaves me with 2 kids who are 8 and 11 and in that perpetually annoying age. It drives me crazy how hungry they always are and what messes they make. It bugs the hell out of me that they are so easily bored and not easily amused. They are also demanding, especially Ben, and I don't always give in...but it doesn't matter. Andrew, in all honesty, is the most fun right now. He's old enough to have interesting conversations with, I love his sense of humor, his taste in music, and that he totally understands the value of a nap. I love seeing the person he is...who he is making himself into. Autumn and Ben (especially Ben) still don't know who they are and this in between time grates on me.

I love babies because their needs are so pure and basic...warm arms, boobs, sleep, clean diapers. I can do that. I am really good at that. Toddlers find everything fascinating. Preschoolers are equally as interesting as they move toward autonomy. But elementary through middle school age. What a pain. All the crappy aspects of ourselves we start to see: selfishness, greed, jealousy, arguing, sloth. Here I am a Catholic mom, who has thought she wanted more kids all this time, and now I am not so sure. Granted, I am 42 so maybe the effects of aging and impatience has caught up with me. I still love the idea of a baby though. But then I remember what happens around 5 or 6. Plus, I don't like to play. I mean I love the goofy playing you can do with babies and toddlers. I love going to concerts and talking about new music with my teen. But I don't want to play Barbies, stuffed animals, color for hours on end, read comic books, play shooter games on Xbox 360. This is my blog so I will say it: "I hate feeling like I have to entertain my kids", but at the same time am totally pissed that the youngest ones default to TV/Macs/PCs/Gaming.

Maybe I didn't have enough kids (and I am not kidding here). Maybe there are too few kids too far apart. They don't really have built in buddies. It is too late for me to do anything about that. Even if I got pregnant now, and we loosely use NFP so it is always a possibility, Autumn would be 9 by the time another baby was born, Ben would be almost 13 and Andrew would be 19! Andrew is not interested in Hannah Montana or Webkinz and he isn't into video gaming much anymore. He only likes gaming when he is with friends and they have a Halo shoot 'em up or Guitar Hero contest. Autumn's and Ben's only common interest is TV and swimming. Autumn is pretty girly and Ben is not into that stuff at ALL! Plus they fight like Israel and Palestine. I'm sick of trying to make peace and am strongly considering nuking them both.

I feel burnt out by mothering. I loathe the idea of sending Autumn to school, so I don't know what I am going to do. I wouldn't want to send Autumn to public school, but don't have the money to send her to a private school...Ben's issues have seen to that. I guess it's good that the Catholic Church says to be open to life, but that you don't have to have a ton of kids. Maybe this truth of mine, that I have been unable to really notice, until today, is the reason God has prevented me from getting pregnant these last 5+ years when I have really wanted another baby. Maybe he wanted me open, but knows me better than I do myself, and therefore gives lots of babies to people like my friends: Sara B., Rob, Leonie, Kath, Jennifer, Wendy, Melissa W. etc...

I find myself thinking of other things to do with my time instead of constant laundry, cleaning, cooking, cleaning, breaking up fights, cleaning, begging them to do chores, cleaning, grocery shopping, cleaning, prodding them to read or pleading with them to let me read to them, cleaning...you get the picture.

Maybe I am just having a crappy day. Dunno?

I really want to RUN

Tonite, after it rained, while it was still misty and thundering in the distance, I took a walk. On my way home I ran the last half mile or so. I REALLY love the feeling of running. It is just awesome. I remember running on the track team in high school. Okay, running in Florida is never fun, unless you run it the rain. However, my high school was in Palm Beach and we would run on the bike trail along the intercostal. I loved sprinting more than anything...loved it!
The deal is, I had to put the breaks on my beginning running program (that I devised myself from internet reading) because of my stupid hives. However, I took my Xyzal today. Then, tonite, when I walked about 3 miles and just *had* to run home, I did and "Look Ma..no hives!" Granted I ran to the shower after getting a huge glass of water. I grabbed some of the ice out and ran it over my face and neck while I took a cold shower. That may have helped head off the hives too. Anyway, I am feeling kinda hopeful again. Yeah!

~Peace,

Lessons I am learning from my daughter

Unlike some friends I know, I have only one daughter (boo hoo...I would love more...oh well). Anyway, the one I have, I adore. She has taken to having late night talks with me in bed. Last night (or should I say very, very early this morning) we were talking about her taking ice skating lessons starting in August. I have taken her to the nearby ice rink and just set her out there on skates and she is fearless and just goes for it. Man, do I envy that. I was never a fearless kid. Well, maybe I was fearless until the teenager next door decided that he was going to experiment on me (read: molest) when I was 7. So, prior to 7 I was pretty fearless. I climbed and fell out of trees, I walked around the village of Southampton, NY (where I lived until I was 8). I wandered in the woods picking blueberries. But that fateful afternoon, trapped between a shed and a tall fence, everything changed and fear entered into my life and didn't leave for a LONG TIME. However, so far so good with Autumn. There have been no 'experiments' (Thank you, Jesus!) on Autumn and she is a fearless girl. She tries things I would never have tried. Because, you see, when the fear entered my life that day it spilled over into EVERYTHING in my life!

So, back to skating. Last night, after our talk, I told Autumn to close her eyes and imagine she was skating in an ice rink on her own doing all sorts of neato tricks and swirly things. Then she was in dreamland. I lay there listening to her deep, sleepy breathing and thought, "Rachel, why do you think you can't skate? You have been telling yourself that since falling down once outside on a pond when you were probably Autumn's age (8). Why are you putting limits on yourself without trying?" So, after thinking a while about my query to myself, I realized that the next time I take Autumn to the rink during public skate hours, I am going to give it a whirl. Maybe my sweet, beautiful, brave girl will teach me a thing or two on the ice. Maybe, I really can skate. Maybe I just have to try, try again.

Thank you, my sweet Tumnal Kitty, for teaching your mama to be brave. I love you! (Oh, and when I meant she was brave I wasn't kidding. Look at her below running from a T-Rex!)

A sliver lining and A Happy Birthday

Well, I haven't been able to exercise like I used to. I am still getting it in, just not everyday like I had been doing. So, I get up and weigh myself. Yes, Friday is my weigh-in day. And I am pleased as punch to announce (even though there are still hives on my face...just milder) that I have now past my halfway mark. I have lost 17.5 pounds and now have 15.5 left to lose. I am itchy, but grateful. So, I guess it's true that in every dark cloud there is a silver lining.

So, Thanks Big Guy, for pulling me through one ordeal while allowing me to go through another. I am very psyched about this. And thank You for my amazing, beautiful, wonderful, free country. I am truly thankful to be an American.
~Amen~


Happy Birthday sweet land that I love!

I am so totally over this...but it doesn't mean Jack!

So for the last few nights, when I am pretty sure I am not doing aerobics in my sleep, I wake up with an itchy (hives) face. I am assuming that said hives are now footloose and fancy free and have decided to just break out when ever they darn well please. FABULOUS! To top it all off, my dermatologist prescribed Xyzal (a new non sedating antihistamine) to keep them under control, but my stupid managed care drug insurance are being creeps about filling it because it is a non-preferred (read too expensive and new) medicine. The thing is the samples they gave me worked great! Claritin and Zyrtec both make me sleepy...not as comatose as does Benadryl...but sleepy nonetheless. So, I have to call my derm again and find out if they got the "preauthorization" in to the Rx company so that I can get my meds and be hive free! Man, what a person do these days...oy vay!

Quirky Girl

So I went for a walk, 4 miles. I didn't blast through it at 15 minutes per mile, I think it was more like 18 min/mile.  I didn't want to break into too much of a sweat.  It never rained while I walked (Boo Hoo), but the sky is so gray and it's raining and thundering.  I just saw some lightening so I guess it's good I am not walking out there.  The best news is that when I walked earlier I didn't get hives. Yeah!  The trick may be a cooler day, taking the antihistamine and H2 Blockers (another type of histamine), and slowing my pace. We'll see.  Man, I really love this kind of day. It is just pouring

I'm a Talent!

You're a risk-taker, and you follow your passions. You're determined to take on the world and succeed on your own terms. Whether in the arts, science, engineering, business, or politics, you fearlessly express your own vision of the world. You're not afraid of a fight, and you're not afraid to bet your future on your own abilities. If you find a job boring or stifling, you're already preparing your resume. You believe in doing what you love, and you're not willing to settle for an ordinary life.

Talent: 62%
Lifer: 46%
Mandarin: 44%

Take the Talent, Lifer, or Mandarin quiz.

A rare sighting

me with make-up ON!

Check up

So, I have been getting all the results back from my recent exams, screenings, blood work etc.

Mammogram was clear (thanks to those former little suckers...my breastfed children)

I'm down 13 pounds, have 20 left to go. I have dropped 1 clothing size.

My fat % is down 4%.

I have lost 5 inches from my waist, 1 from each of the following: hips, chest, arms, thighs

My blood work is all within normal limits.

And the best of all, my cholesterol had been 219 over the last few years, and since implementing healthy food and exercise it is now 188.  My cholesterol was 180 in my 20's so this is pretty cool news to me. 

So, barring an unforseen fatal accident, I am feeling better about my life expectancy. Watch me lose the 20 pounds that are left and then get knocked up. Just my luck.  Though, I certainly won't complain. I'll just make sure I have a very fit pregnancy.

 

When my kids look back over this blog, someday, they will know I was taking care of myself for them, for Robert and for me.  I set so many bad examples...it's about time I starting setting some good ones.

~Peace,

Just thought this was cute & I told you so

Me kissing my girlie! She is an adorable, cuddly, lovey, little thing even though she does this (see below).


Autumn's homemade tattoo work (with a pen) that she did while she was watching Hannah Montana and I was taking shower. That'll teach me! BTW, the kid is 8 years old and is STILL not out of the habit of drawing all over herself.

It's Boob Smooshing Day

Well, in the next hour I will, most likely, be leaning against a table while my boobs get sandwiched in mammogram machine.  Today is my first mammogram.  Why, Rachel, did you wait until you were 42?  One might ask. Well, since this is cyberspace I will admit that I nursed my kids A LONG TIME!  Each was nursed until 5 years old and the last two kids tandem nursed for a bit, and then the middle one weaned and I was just nursing the last one until I had to, virtually, pry her from the breast quite past her 5th birthday.   For those of you who are now thoroughly disgusted with me, all I can say is that it wasn't planned. They were happy, I was happy,  I didn't care. They gave up the boobs when they were ready, they gave up our bed (well 2 of them did...Autumn is still resistant to the idea of sleeping alone) when they were ready, the learned to walk and talk when they were ready...oh you get the picture. 

I found out from some cool UK site last night, can't remember how to get to it, that for every child born, a woman reduces her chances of getting breast cancer by 7%, so that is 21% less risk for me right off the bat.  Then for every year of nursing a women reduces her chance of breast cancer by 4.3%, so I think when I tallied it all up I have reduced my chances of getting breast cancer by over 81.2%.  So, let's all pray that I am not in the bottom 18%..ok?

My mom, God rest her soul, died of metastic colon cancer at the very young age of 53.  So, I have had every sort of humiliating butt test that can be done to a person.  And I thought pap smears and childbirth removed modesty issues. HA!  Sigmoidoscopies, Colonoscopies, Barium Enemas and the like, take naked humiliation in front of others to a whole new level.  At least, for now, I know that my colon is clear. Yipee!  Now on to the top half!

What I find so interesting is that when one really digs for the research on female cancers (breast, uterine, ovarian, cervical) the overwhelming evidence suggests that the less sexual partners you have (preferrably one) and the more kids you have and the longer you nurse them, the less risk you have of contracting these dreaded cancers.  Seems to me God is saying, "Ladies, use them or lose them!"

Last thing, when I was telling Autumn that I had to go to the doctor this morning, she asked why. I told her I was having my boobs smooshed in a machine so they could take pictures of their insides and make sure they were ok.  She said, which a most frightful look on her face, "Oh Mommy, I don't want your boobs to be smooshed!"  I said, "It's okay, Honey, from what I hear, they bounce right back!" LOL

Oh yeah...and this is it, I mean it.  Robert told me that if by waiting, until I am 42 to have my boobs smooshed, that I have neglected to find cancer that has already been lurking within me these past 2 years, that it won't matter if I am going to die, because he's gonna kill me.  So, I have that to look forward to. 

~Peace,

You do the "Mommy" math

Take this


Add one of these


plus this


plus this


plus this


oh, and add these in too


and you get this


who now looks like this (note the one, in the black suit, kissing the child)

I have news for me, the black suit isn't helping!

Autumn's Birthday cakes (and my pathetic Lenten failure)

Okay, I am WEAK!  Not that I never thought I was.  But I am admitting it to the world.  The whole giving up sugar for Lent went KABOOM! It started with Autumn's birthday party, which was grown up friends for us, and their kids (who are her best buds) for her...and Ben and Andrew too.  I had birthday cake and it all snowballed to Hell from there. I thought I had gotten back in the saddle by the weekend's end.  However, Autumn's actual birthday was Feb. 18th.  And she wanted a cake decorated to look like one of the  TY Girlz.   The 1st pic is from the party with friends, that is not the cake I made. The 2nd pic is Autumn with a Ty Girl, and the 3rd/4th pics are of the Ty Girl cake I made for Autumn.  I used a Cinderella cake pan from Wilton and then looked at a TY Girl and copied it onto the mold.  It turned out great!








however, I could not resist tasting it and the frosting I made all the way through. 

 So, I was at Mass today (Saturday vigil) and asked God what he wanted me to DO FOR HIM.  I am starting to feel that maybe the giving up part isn't a good idea for me.  Lent is about sacrifice, but sacrifice isn't always about giving something up, sometimes it's about adding something in.  During my prayer a vision of Rosary beads flashed in my head with the words, "Be still and know that I am God."  Now that scripture verse hasa specific significance in my life, but due to the fact that friends read this blog, I can't say (right now) exactly what that significance is.  Suffice it to say that me praying the Rosary daily is a sacrifice for me...because I am sooooooo busy.  I can be quite the 'Martha'.  I don't want to be the 'Mary' and sit still at Jesus' feet...at least not that long. (a Rosary is 20 minutes so yeah I am pathetic)...but, I'm ADHD, man!  I have things to do, places to go, rooms to clean, books to read to myself and my kids etc... and HE WANTS ME TO BE STILL !?! ...UGH!!! This may actually be WORSE than giving up the sugar. 

I can't believe I went so long without posting.  I have missed my blogging.  Cool things to be written are on the horizon...so stay tuned!

~Peace

Like I didn't see this coming!

You Are a Night Person

For you, there's nothing worse than having to get up and moving early. In fact, you probably don't hit your peak until well after the sun has set. So if your struggling to make it on a normal schedule, realize it's not your fault. You just weren't meant to do anything during the day!

Are You a Morning Person or Night Person?

I couldn't resist...it nailed me again!

You Are an Indie Rocker!

You are in it for the love of the music... And you couldn't care less about being signed by a big label. You're all about loving and supporting music - not commercial success. You may not have the fame and glory, but you have complete control of your career.

What Kind of Rocker Are You?

A Gesthemane Moment

I don't know how many of you Catholics out there have ever participated in the Parish Renewal program called Christ Renews His Parish or CRHP (pronounced Chirp for short), but it is an amazing and singular retreat experience.  It is quite unlike anything out there.  If your parish has it...RUN...don't walk...and sign up for the next one.

Well, CRHP is self perpetuating.  It is not stagnant.  Folks attend a CRHP weekend then many from that group go on to present a CRHP weekend and then the presenters kind of move off into various parish ministries and the attendees go on to be presenters and it keeps going from there.  Our parish started CRHP a couple of years ago.  Every 6 months there is a CRHP Weekend for Men and a week or so later their is the Women's weekend.  Each group of people to attend are a team.  I went to Team 1's presentation of a CRHP Weekend, and those in my group who continued to form the next Weekend became Team 2.  Once you have gone to CRHP you may or may not be Called by God to come back to another CRHP team to help them out.  This just happened to me.  I was Called to go and help form Team 6 to put on a CRHP Weekend whose attendees will become CRHP 7.  

There are many roles to be filled for a CRHP weekend.  And only God, in a special discernment prayer meeting will Call those He chooses to certain roles.  No person says to another, "You are meant to do this or that."  Well, at the most recent discernment I was Called to be the Lay Director.  Let me tell you what a hilarious joke on me that is.  And I have been really freaking out over the last few days asking God if he could take this cup from me...after I decided maybe I don't want it.  It is going to stretch me in places I have never stretched and I'm feeling quite inflexible, KWIM?

Lay Directors direct the proceeding of a CRHP meeting. I have to watch time, make  sure folks don't stray off topic, keep to a prescribe schedule, help insure the retreat goes smoothly giving oversight to all other ministry heads.  It's not my show.  I am just helping to direct it.  Okay, stop laughing all of you who know me. I know what you are thinking.  "How could God let Rachel do that?...Her CRHP meetings are going to end up being a train wreck!"  Well, the first one was a bit disorganized, but my Spiritual and Co-Spiritual Directors Ann and Jacki thought it went alot better than I did.  I even got an email from a member of the group, Julie, telling me she was glad I was the Lay Director. WOW! COOL!  I gotta say, I won't be doing ANY of it without God's help.  I think that is why I am where I am.  He knows I need Him for this position. I also adore the women in this team and know that they will help and best of all LOVE me through it.  They won't be judging, just encouraging. So, Fear Be Damned!  Get behind me Satan!  I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!

Oh, and for any of you Catholics out there reading this who have a Christ Renews His Parish in your church, DO NOT HESITATE!  Sign up NOW!  It will be, quite possibly, the BEST thing you have EVER done for your relationship with CHRIST,  your FELLOW PARISHIONERS, and YOURSELF!!!!

~Peace,