It's been so long.

Okay, so I have no idea what to say, except that facebook is so damn fun that I forgot about my blog. I started writing this as a way for my kids to see what a wacky mom they have. Then it kind of became a journal. I got alot out that first year and it was good for me.

This year so far has been pretty fun. In January, we found out that friends we had met on facebook were going to be in our area. It turns out Bill Mueller had a training thing for his job and it was right here in Roswell. He came first and then his wife, Terry, came a couple days later. We had a blast. I was really sorry to see them go at the end of the week. We introduced them to Doctor Who and they introduced us to Coupling. I took Terry all over Roswell, TiVo fell in love with Bill, and then, on Friday, Bill and Terry took us out to a fab dinner at Relish, along with 2 more facebook friends who live here in town, Loren and Tracy Peters (I went to high school with Loren). We had a really good time for 4 people who had never previously met in person. Oh, and we all survived (several friends of mine thought we were insane to invite facebook friends over...I mean what if they killed us). And here is proof that it all went well (Oh, and I now I have to figure out how I am going to get my ass to Illinois where they live.)


I met MUSE, my favorite band in the world and they were such nice guys. It is so awesome to meet people you admire so much and they turn out to be great. They could have been jerks...but they were not. Matt Bellamy, the lead singer, couldn't believe that Andrew was my kid. As if I didn't love Matt enough, I got a compliment. What a cool guy. Thanks to my Hunny and his friend Mike Greene, I got to see the most amazing concert of my life AND got to meet the band too. We chatted with them back stage for about 15 minutes. It was just the 4 of us, Robert, me, Andrew and his longtime pal, Claire. The latter two were virtually hyperventilating at meeting those Rock GODs...and it was adorable to see.
Robert finally got out of for-profit corporate life. A huge prayer was answered and he is now the managing director for internet & new media for the American Cancer Society. It's more a prestige position than a monied position...as most non-profits are. But, we can still stay in our house (we had it for sale for a 4 months) and he is doing something that matters. And that is what we have prayed for for so long. Robert is an amazing husband and stand up guy. He wants to take care of this family as sole provider, so I can be the hand that rocks the cradle at home, but he always wanted to get paid to do something that made a huge positive impact on those around him. So, here's a shout out to the big man upstairs...Thank you, GOD, for making this all happen!!!

Now, I am thinking of adding a new puppy to the mix. Before that happens I have to re-home our 3 cats. It's not something I want to do, but no one pays any attention to them, or takes care of them anymore and it sucks. I change their litter and feed them, but I am the primary carer of the dog, so I am in and out of the cats business pretty quickly. I love Toonces the most, will miss him desperately, but the cats were for the kids. They are growing up and don't care. Everyone loves TiVo and it's not hard to understand why. He is awesome, and loving and interacts with everyone. The cats interact on their terms...whenever that is. And those 3 fluffy idiots could have become friends with TiVo, but they would have nothing to do with him and now that he is big they are afraid of him. I'm kind of sick of living in the Gaza strip of my own home. There are zones for the cats and the dog and it's gotten really old. Before anyone gives me any crap, understand, I wouldn't give away a kid. These are animals. If they are not happy, I believe I should help them to be so. I love all animals....I really do. But when it comes down to brass tax I am a dog girl. I love walking TiVo, I love taking him to the dog park. I love all the social interaction he brings to me. I am an extrovert...and I believe cats are for introverts. NO judgement, just a statement. I drive around with TiVo all day. He comes with me everywhere. I can't take my cats anywhere. Anyway, that's what going on there.
On the spirituality front, the last year has been weird. Right now I am in a good place and am praying it sticks. I have gone through a lot of so called 'atheist phases' and I don't like them. They are very dark and dry and lonely...a great breeding ground for anger and selfishness. Sometimes life does seem pointless. I told Robert recently that it (life) seems like a giant hamster wheel we get on and have to keep running on and we only get to get off when we die. Translate that into me feeling exhausted...and bored. I need new things to shake me up.

Lately, I have re-committed myself to caring for myself and losing the few pounds I put on, over the last few months, this after having lost over 30 pounds. How easy it is to slip off the saddle. Luckily, it was less than 10lbs, 5 of which are gone...so I am on track. I am feeling so much better. It's not fun getting out of control and feeling that you can't seem to help yourself. I am happy to be back in the saddle and taking it day by day to stay there.

The kids are all doing really well. Autumn has been in a really cool homeschool co-op this year and the time off (for me) and added social interaction for her has been fabulous. Next month she has a jazz recital...they are dancing to All That Jazz from Chicago and should be adorable. Here is Autumn with the girl half of the her co op, there are 3 boys in it too.

Ben is almost done with his 7th grade year at the Cottage School and boy howdy do I love that place and everything it's done for our boy. Ben is really doing so much better this year, on all fronts, than he has in the past. I have high hopes that things are going to continue to change for the better, for 'the Bendamin'. Oh, and Ben's braces finally came off...look how handsome.

Andrew, my handsome vulcan son, is still working at Trader Joe's...almost 2 years. I am so pround of him. He has just a couple weeks left and will be done with his sophmore year at Georgia State. He is still living at home (which I love) and still plugging away at his post-rock band, Absence of Ocean. He has taught himself how to play guitar and writes alot of songs. All in all, he's pretty damn cool. I love him to bits...just wish he were a little more chatty....how is he my kid??? I mean, he looks just like me so I know he is mine....but talk about opposite. One great thing is that Andrew will be 21 in 6 months and then I can send him on booze runs for me and Robert....woo hoo!! LOL Below is Andrew's shocked, "I just met Muse" face.
I think I am gonna go bake something yummy now. I am off wheat again, due to allergies. I am thinking this time I should stay off of it for good, but we'll see. Wheat definitely bothers me most in Spring and Summer as it causes my eczema to flare. I have been off of it over a week now and my hand eczema is almost healed. You know what else is weird...I swear I am addicted to wheat. When I am not eating it, I don't have the insane food cravings I normally do...the very same cravings that got me into trouble gaining almost 10 pounds back of the 30 I lost. I wonder if there is something too that? All I know is that in 2 or 3 days time my hands will look and feel normal again and that is worth everything. Besides, I made a KILLER gluten free version of my favorite cake 'Tres Leches' and it soooooo frickin good, I dare anyone to guess it's not made with wheat flour.

Oh yeah, how could I forget a really cool thing...we now have a Keurig One Cup coffee making system and it is the coolest thing in the universe...and yes, I have even seen and played with the iPad. But really great coffee (which I don't need to roast, or grind or measure or brew) in a minute is freaking awesome when you are as addicted to the substance as I am!! My birthday is coming up this Thursday, the 29th. I love K-Cups...send me some!! ;-)


Later,
Rach

No camera, can't forget

I took Autumn and our dog, Tivo, to the park today, after it rained. Autumn told me she wanted to play at the park while it was wet. She has done this before but must have forgotten. I didn't remind her. I just said, "OK." SO off we went. Sure enough she had a great time sliding, or should I say shooting, down the slides. They are the new tubular slides so you don't see the kid til they are almost out. She literally shot out like a human canon ball. It was pretty funny. The sky was still gray when the rain stopped and the trees were just dazzlingly hued...definitely the height of Fall here in Atlanta. When she was soaked through from the slides she decided to investigate the very rocky rain overflow canal. It is usually dry, especially in 'drought Georgia', but it was wet...mostly big puddles but not running like a stream. Well, Autumn can't resist mud...ever! BTW, neither can Tivo. The two of them set to digging like you wouldn't believe. They were the cutest, MUDDIEST, creatures you ever saw. They would even switch holes and keep digging. When they were done we went to the actual creek and dragged Tivo through it to get the mud off. Siberian Huskies clean up really well. He is dry now and completely beautiful. You would never know he looked like 'Swamp Thing' this afternoon.

What I am bummed about is that I didn't have my camera. There were some award winning photos to be had, especially when they were both digging. Autumn was just filled with glee. My heart overflows with happiness when I get to see her like that. It was really cool.

Attempted Homeschool

That should be the title of my blog, but I have changed it so many times that I won't go there. 

Before I launch into my 'attempted homeschool' I must say that I am writing to the wondrous tones of the pupster, Tivo, wailing behind me in his crate. I took him out for a walk and, in his inimitable Sibe style, he walked and plopped down, all four legs spread out (no kidding), head down and looked up at me with those striking blue eyes as if to say, "When it snows I'll go anywhere but, at this moment, you can forget it b**ch." So, we walked home. Okay, I walked home and he swept the sidewalk as I dragged him by his harness.  He likes doing that at home. He's kind of like a really cool cat hair sweeper. Anyway, I digress. We get back to the yard and I unhook his leash and he hauls ass across the yard to a basketball. I love watching dogs try to get basketballs in their mouths. Cats would never stoop so low as to do something so ridiculous, right Toonces?  (My kitty is nodding....from the basement... because he's too much of a pansy to come show this dog who is boss.) Well, I wanted to wear the Tivo out so he would stop using my arms as rawhide bone substitutes. Since he wouldn't walk and wanted to come in, he started to play: let's eat mommy. I don't like that game,so I told him he needed to relax and go sleepy in his crate. It's an odd sense of liberation to let a dog cry it out because I wouldn't have been caught dead letting a baby (human) do that. I guess I am an Attachment-Style mom and Ferber-Style dog owner. Hmmm???

Back to what this post was supposed to be about...attempting to homeschool.  Yes, I am an unschooler. That is me in my soul. However, what worked for Andrew doesn't seem to be working for Autumn (and was a dismal failure with Ben...thus his attending a private school). Therefore, in an effort to try and get Autumn to put forth some effort, and with a little help from Aesop and the story of the Ants and the Grasshopper (moral: there is time for work AND time for play) , I have devised a little lesson plan. Autumn has OK'd this plan.  And here it is:

English:

Stuff we read together. 

&

Listen, Read & Learn (very cool books which I got from Sam's, for $7,  that have a CD which reads classic stories. Autumn follows along and at the end are phonics, comprehension, writing, etc all related back to the story. It goes without saying this is great in the car.)

Math:

Mostly life

Progress In Mathematics (a very cool and colorful work/text)

History:

Whatever the heck we want to talk about

Science:

Cool stuff on Discovery channel

Catholic Stories from Science 2 from Catholic Heritage Curriculum (We both love this book!)

This is what she has going on during the week.

Tuesdays Home School Art class at the Parks & Rec, from 1:30-2:30pm, then we pick up Ben from school and go back to the Parks & Rec for Homeschool Park Play Day until dinner time.

Thursdays Home School Clay class at the Parks & Rec from 1:30-3pm

Saturdays Figure Skating Lessons from 12-12:30 (she is super excited about this and it starts tomorrow).

I am going to try and find more cool field trips to take and we will hopefully join our local TORCH group for some too.  (The name means Traditions Of Roman Catholic Homes).  Of course, I want to include as much fun, unstructured time with friends as I can too...oh, and squeeze in a Daily Mass once a week...at least. Oh yeah, and speaking of Mass, Autumn wants to take Alter Server training. I know for some of my more traditionally minded Catholic friends this might not sit too well. But hey, if it will draw Autumn more deeply into the Sacrifice of the Mass then I am all for it. Neither Ben nor Andrew showed any interest. Yet, when Autumn found out, after receiving her 1st Communion, that she would be able to be an Altar Server she begged me to let her. Mother Church says it's fine so Tumnal is on her way. 

Now all I have to do is find the time to make all of this happen....hmmm....how am I gonna do that?
Here is Tumnal and her new 'do' after she cut out a brush which she got stuck in her hair. Pretty cute, huh?

Walking to Church

I actually went to bed at 10:30 last night. Amazing for insomniac me.  So, when the pupster woke up at 7 I was ready to take him for a walk, unlike yesterday where I slid down the last half of the stairs with him. I think I was too sleepy to know where I was. Well, when I got to the end of the stairs on my ass I sure knew where I was. But I digress. Since it is very cool and nice outside I think I will walk the 3 miles to church for 9 am Mass which means I better get crackin and leave.

Teev had his first puppy training class last night. We were the only ones to sign up for that time slot so it's personal training for the group price....COOL!  The trainer was really impressed with the work we have already been doing with him. Yes, folks, after three untrained children I will not be dropping the ball with the dog!! Tivo learned last night the command , "Look at me."  We also learned "sit" (which Autumn had already taught him just wonderfully) and "release" which is to come out of the sitting position. The trainer said it lays the foundation for "stay" later. 

Oh, and this is the best part, Autumn now has a cheek length bob haircut. She's been wanting it short forever, but My Hunny likes long hair on his daughter. Interestingly, My Hunny loves me with a chin length bob, but with The Girlie it is a princess thing...I think. Anyway, she was spending the night at Morgan's house when she got a little round brush stuck in her hair. Of course, rather than asking her Godmother, Lisa (Morgan's mom) to help her get the brush out, My Girlie took matters into her own hands and cut the darn thing out. The other up side is that she has 10 inches of hair to donate to Locks of Love, which makes wigs for kids with cancer. So, she is very happy that she could help those kids.

I'll post pics but right now I must "get me to church".

Peace,

Lessons I am learning from my daughter

Unlike some friends I know, I have only one daughter (boo hoo...I would love more...oh well). Anyway, the one I have, I adore. She has taken to having late night talks with me in bed. Last night (or should I say very, very early this morning) we were talking about her taking ice skating lessons starting in August. I have taken her to the nearby ice rink and just set her out there on skates and she is fearless and just goes for it. Man, do I envy that. I was never a fearless kid. Well, maybe I was fearless until the teenager next door decided that he was going to experiment on me (read: molest) when I was 7. So, prior to 7 I was pretty fearless. I climbed and fell out of trees, I walked around the village of Southampton, NY (where I lived until I was 8). I wandered in the woods picking blueberries. But that fateful afternoon, trapped between a shed and a tall fence, everything changed and fear entered into my life and didn't leave for a LONG TIME. However, so far so good with Autumn. There have been no 'experiments' (Thank you, Jesus!) on Autumn and she is a fearless girl. She tries things I would never have tried. Because, you see, when the fear entered my life that day it spilled over into EVERYTHING in my life!

So, back to skating. Last night, after our talk, I told Autumn to close her eyes and imagine she was skating in an ice rink on her own doing all sorts of neato tricks and swirly things. Then she was in dreamland. I lay there listening to her deep, sleepy breathing and thought, "Rachel, why do you think you can't skate? You have been telling yourself that since falling down once outside on a pond when you were probably Autumn's age (8). Why are you putting limits on yourself without trying?" So, after thinking a while about my query to myself, I realized that the next time I take Autumn to the rink during public skate hours, I am going to give it a whirl. Maybe my sweet, beautiful, brave girl will teach me a thing or two on the ice. Maybe, I really can skate. Maybe I just have to try, try again.

Thank you, my sweet Tumnal Kitty, for teaching your mama to be brave. I love you! (Oh, and when I meant she was brave I wasn't kidding. Look at her below running from a T-Rex!)

Just thought this was cute & I told you so

Me kissing my girlie! She is an adorable, cuddly, lovey, little thing even though she does this (see below).


Autumn's homemade tattoo work (with a pen) that she did while she was watching Hannah Montana and I was taking shower. That'll teach me! BTW, the kid is 8 years old and is STILL not out of the habit of drawing all over herself.

Tumnal being...well..a...Tumnal

Update on the Experiment

If any of my plethora (yeah, right) of readers saw my earlier post regarding my Pay-Autumn-To-Read experiment, I have an update.

We settled on an amount per book.  The books are phonics readers that progress in difficulty as one moves through them, so she is gently exposed to knew concepts as she moves forward.  At the same time that we are doing this, I am actually reading, Punished By Rewards by Alfie Kohn.  I gotta say, I agree with alot of what he says.  And, I do think to myself,  what am I teaching Autumn about reading by making it a job.  You see, I am not rewarding her in the sense that I tell her that I will give her money if she reads.  The deal was centered around the fact that she wants to make money.  My husband and I don't give allowances.  We have tried, but we would always forget.  Neither one of us grew up with them.  The other thing is that dh and I don't think people, kids or adults, should be paid for helping around the house.  I don't get paid to homeschool, or do laundry, or make dinner etc...so we are not paying them to empty the dishwasher, take out the trash, or pick up their dirty clothes.   All that is part and parcel of being a family.

So, I told Autumn that I would really love for her to practice her reading, and I knew she wanted money, so I told her I would pay her so much per book.  The only 'catch' is she has to read them to me (this way I get some Mommy/Autumn time).  She can decide to read 10, 3, or none on a given day.  Also, we have asked her to save 10% of whatever she currently has in her little Trader Joe's coffee can, before she spends it.  We are trying to teach her about always saving a little first.  Unlike some parents, I am not 'making' her tithe it to church.  Right now, she just has to save it.  She can buy whatever she can afford.  Sometimes it's a new Webkinz and yesterday it was an ebay auctioned (which was a cool conversation about auctions) PC game called CATZ 2.

She has really enjoyed this experiment.  Maybe, because it isn't technically a reward.  It is just a payment.  While she is reading I hold back on the praise and just say things like "You did it!"  "You ARE reading!" more statements of the obvious so that she can be proud of herself.  She told me yesterday after reading like 6 books in a row, that she is a good reader.  I said, "I know, I told you that before, but I guess you had to see it for yourself!"  

I really love Alfie Kohn's idea that we need to find what 'intrinsically movtivates" people, not just extrinsically motivate them with rewards or punishments, because according to Kohn theories and research, punishments and rewards don't work long term. I have no doubt that Autumn's reading for cash scheme may come back to bite me in the ass. I mean, what happens when she's read all the phonics readers in the house?  I guess, at least, she will be a more confident reader.  But, what if she decides that she'll never read unless I pay her.  That would be bad...and unrealistic.  I can just see her in college, "But Professor, I am not going to read Chaucer unless you pay me!  Doesn't everyone get paid to read?"  Yeah, that's gonna go over well.  At least, she's got a way to make some money.  I do not try to incentivize her either, by telling her I will pay her a bonus if she reads just a few more books.  She's got her base price per book and the rest is up to her. 

This is definitely unconventional, but hey, a mom's gotta go what a mom's gotta do.  Sitting down and asking Autumn to let me read to her or ask her to read a bit to me just was NOT working.  Admittedly, it is easier to get her to listen to me read.  However, as much as she used to love it, she's not been into much lately...which is why I kind of relish her hunting me down to read (because she wants to make some $$$).  At the very worst, I guess one could accuse me of being no better than a teacher giving out A's or gold stars.  But really, can an A or gold star get you anything?  No.  At least cash can get you something fun.  So, instead of being able to brag about all your stars, you can say, "I don't have any stars, but look at this cool Webkinz collection!" 

Interestingly, a few very cool things have happened since the experiment started.  1) Autumn has taken a real interest in understanding money, counting it, what taxes mean , why save etc... 2) When she is 'flush' with cash she becomes really generous, and has even given Ben some money, and bought things for him (and a friend).

That is worth the whole darn thing to me, her being giving and not greedy.  3) It has made her understand that there is value to things and she is learning about how to get a deal...thus the ebay transaction.

So, maybe it is not a bad thing after all.  All I want is for Autumn to experience more personal success with reading, and quite possibly, when she is confident, she will look for another way to make money instead of reading.  

~Peace

Better late than never! (and scroll down to 2/18/08 entry for more pics of her Birthday!)

Here is a picture of my handsome young King (Robert) and our beautiful little Princess, Autumn, at the annual Father/Daughter Dance hosted by our local TORCH homeschool group.   Last year it was cowboys and cowgirls, but this year it was the King and his Princess and that was right up my  hubby and my girly's alley.  Autumn borrowed the dress, wrap and tiara from her best bud Morgan and Robert rented his outfit from a costume shop that had made it special for a Lord of The Rings wedding.  He looked pretty cool.  The beginning picture is  Autumn showing off her dress and then Robert walked out and surprised her with his very cool outfit.  As you can see she was thrilled.  Apparently, he was the only dad who took the 'attire' seriously.  They had a great time.  The dance, oh excuse me, the Royal Ball was Feb. 16th.  Aren't they both just beautiful!?!

~Peace

Autumn's Birthday cakes (and my pathetic Lenten failure)

Okay, I am WEAK!  Not that I never thought I was.  But I am admitting it to the world.  The whole giving up sugar for Lent went KABOOM! It started with Autumn's birthday party, which was grown up friends for us, and their kids (who are her best buds) for her...and Ben and Andrew too.  I had birthday cake and it all snowballed to Hell from there. I thought I had gotten back in the saddle by the weekend's end.  However, Autumn's actual birthday was Feb. 18th.  And she wanted a cake decorated to look like one of the  TY Girlz.   The 1st pic is from the party with friends, that is not the cake I made. The 2nd pic is Autumn with a Ty Girl, and the 3rd/4th pics are of the Ty Girl cake I made for Autumn.  I used a Cinderella cake pan from Wilton and then looked at a TY Girl and copied it onto the mold.  It turned out great!








however, I could not resist tasting it and the frosting I made all the way through. 

 So, I was at Mass today (Saturday vigil) and asked God what he wanted me to DO FOR HIM.  I am starting to feel that maybe the giving up part isn't a good idea for me.  Lent is about sacrifice, but sacrifice isn't always about giving something up, sometimes it's about adding something in.  During my prayer a vision of Rosary beads flashed in my head with the words, "Be still and know that I am God."  Now that scripture verse hasa specific significance in my life, but due to the fact that friends read this blog, I can't say (right now) exactly what that significance is.  Suffice it to say that me praying the Rosary daily is a sacrifice for me...because I am sooooooo busy.  I can be quite the 'Martha'.  I don't want to be the 'Mary' and sit still at Jesus' feet...at least not that long. (a Rosary is 20 minutes so yeah I am pathetic)...but, I'm ADHD, man!  I have things to do, places to go, rooms to clean, books to read to myself and my kids etc... and HE WANTS ME TO BE STILL !?! ...UGH!!! This may actually be WORSE than giving up the sugar. 

I can't believe I went so long without posting.  I have missed my blogging.  Cool things to be written are on the horizon...so stay tuned!

~Peace

Pictorial of Autumn's 8th Birthday

Autumn outside 'Dreamland' BBQ...the girl loves RIBS!!! She calls it "DreamLAMB Bar B Cube!"
Going crazy for ribs...her choice for her birthday dinner.  She' no vegetarian!
            With Mom (me) who really needs to put on some make-up...YIKES!
         With her fabulous homemade by mom, "Ty Girlz" cake!
                    With my brother, her Uncle Jonny!  She LOVES him!!!

Happy Valentines Day

Apparently, according to the website below, Autumn's learning talent is Music.  I can definitely see that as true.  She is globally artistically inclined, in that she sings, learns songs easily, takes ballet, pottery and drawing, designs her own fashions in a notebook, and has recently started writing her own songs (which I transcribe for her).  She has plans on being in a band (Andrew is mostly to blame for this) and really wants to take guitar lessons. I can totally see Autumn on stage in NYC in musicals.  It would completely fit the personality I see in her now.  However, she is only 8 (on Feb 18) and things can change.  Though, I am sure, she will always love music.

What is your Child's Learning Talent?

by Montessorimom.com: Educational Resource

The Unschooling post I promised...RANT, RANT, RANT!

Okay, so I have been involved in many a homeschooling support group over the 13+ years I have homeschooled.  One thing that is becoming overwhelmingly obvious is that we homeschooling moms are still not getting it.  And by it, I mean the socialization of our homeschooled kids.  Now this is not the socialization issue that "schoolers" bring up against "homeschooling", but the actual socializing of our homeschooled kids with other homeschooled kids.  Only one group I am in gets it...and they have had a Homeschool Park Day, for over 10 years now, where the kids get to just play.  It seems that every other group I get involved with always has to turn the meeting of other homeschooled kids into a miniature school. UGH! It is really frustrating.

Probably more frustrating is that in order to get your child(ren) into a social situation, like the one I mentioned above, is that the moms have to be integrally involved.  And by being involved, I actually mean, said moms will have to teach a group of kids in a classroom some pre-determined subject that the adults have decided on (not the kids, God Forbid). No offense to my daughter, or anyone else's kids, but I spend alot of time with Autumn and if I get a chance for alone time, I want it.  I don't want to teach other people's kids...I don't "teach" my own (in the traditional sense).  That's why when Autumn takes classes 'she is interested in' I can just hang out and read a book, or drop her off run some errands, and pick her up.   Autumn wasn't interested in her classes at Torch, and she isn't interested in the class I teach at her new co-op SOG.  Now, she loves the Art class that SOG just added, and she wanted to try the Spanish, which they just added too, but she doesn't like it (because the teacher expects the kids to read, and Autumn is not a fluent reader yet). 

I have already pulled myself and Autumn out of our parish's new American Heritage Girls troop.  Instead of setting up a date twice a month where little Catholic girls of the parish could play and become friends, the grown ups had to make the social time "count" by starting this Christian scouting group.  What a nightmare.

When I realized this was making my home life worse, and not better (because they meet on Friday nights at 7pm!) my husband told me it was time for it to go.  I can't tell you how relieved I was when he said, "Get out of there."  Autumn wasn't as thrilled with leaving, because she liked seeing her friends.  But she didn't care a bit about the scouting part of it.  Why do parents stress themselves out with this stuff?  We do all this stuff thinking the kids are going to love it, when if we asked them, they would probably say they would just like to play with their friends for 2 hours instead of doing a bunch of tasks to fulfill a badge requirement which is just a piece of fabric one wears to tell the world, "Look at all I have achieved."  My daughter doesn't have to achieve a darn thing for me to love her.

What Autumn wants to do at these co-op/scouting classes is play with other kids, especially girls, because she's with me most of the time. I know she loves me, but I am sure I can be boring to her at times.  I don't blame her for wanting some peer time.  I have been hounding her Dad for another baby (a 2nd girl would be awesome) for years, but nothing is happening.  So, Autumn just has to deal with the fact that she has an 18 year old brother whose life is completely different than hers (though he loves her) and another brother, 11, who (when the stars are aligned and the planets in the right house) will happily play with her, otherwise he just instigates fights with her.  Autumn, being essentially an only child homeschooler, gets lonely.  She wants to play and relate to other kids.  I dare say, even kids who are homeschooled with siblings probably want to get out and see other kids in a social setting every once in a while too.

I don't construct events or structured situations in order to get together with my friends, for example: only seeing them within the context of classes etc.  I see my friends to spend time with them and develop, deepen, and strengthen our friendship. Our times together are free form. Sometimes we may choose to do something structured with each other...a movie, a cooking class, bible study etc...but mostly I just want to sit with them and chat over a cup o' joe or glass of wine. What I see going on in the homeschooling community is that there has to be a more important reason to get kids together than just for play. WHY!?!  That ends up, yet again, admitting, that kids still need something schooly.  Well, they don't.  They are kids, they want to play.  It is so good for them to play and use their imaginations, and to build lifelong friendships.  In free form play they really do learn to socialize, because it isn't a structured activity like school, team sports, dance, art classes or any other type of situation where adults are running the show.  I am not suggesting that classes aren't ever necessary.  Autumn loves to dance and wants to learn how to do various dance styles.  I can't teach her that. I am not a dancer.  So, she takes ballet, jazz, or tap classes depending on the mood she is in when it comes time for registrations.  She also wanted to work with clay and learn more about acting, so she takes a pottery class and drama class and adores them too.  

However, in the last 2 co-ops we were involved in, Autumn really just wanted to play with the kids in her co-op class, she wasn't much interested in the topic.  Oh, sure she would participate, and I would have to beg and cajole and even threaten her that I would send her out, in order to get her to participate sometimes.  And I don't need some arbitrary subject/class setting to have me angry with my daughter.  She is not in school for many reasons, but one I loathe is the constant shaming and blaming kids who are distracting, or disruptive, in a class, because they are bored and would rather do something more interesting like talking with their friends.  There is enough in a regular day that I might get upset with Autumn about, the LAST thing I need to come between us is a mock school setting. And you know how I knew she didn't care about those subjects at the co-ops?  Because she barely retained any of what we covered.  I don't retain anything I am not interested in learning either. If I am not ready or don't care it goes in one ear and out the other...and I bet it is very similar in almost everyone. It's like when I was in school and retained something long enough to take the test and promptly forgot it. 

So, when we are done in the next 6 weeks with this co-op we will probably move on.  I think it is more worth it to pay the yearly fee to these co-ops and take advantage of the cool field trips they offer, than it is to take the classes.  I actually want my daughter to have more time to play.  She is the one I am homeschooling, no one else. I could kick myself for getting angry with her because she is distracting other kids, who are not mine, from what I am supposed to be teaching them, because she would rather talk to the little girl next to her.  I'm on her side.  I am involved in this group for her. Not for anyone else.  So, if it is not working for her, then it's not working period.

I am really going to work on some kind of a set play date for Autumn's friends homeschooled or schooled.  Maybe a Catholic Friends group.  She already has Tuesday Park Day with a diverse mix of friends.  But she does have a bunch of friends at church, so a Catholic Friends group would be cool.  And I am not going to tie anything, it's just going to be friends playing with friends.

I hope you are all lathered up. With that I step off of my soap box. 

~Peace

Keeping House

So, I think I am going to have to turn on the stereo and pull up iTunes on Tivo and blast the heck out of some music and get my butt in gear. There is a HUGE pile of laundry at my door. Autumn kicked it down the stairs for me (which also clears the stairs of cat fur). Now it is lying there at the bottom of the stairs. What is funny is that my front door is 2 doors with clear windows. So, there is no hiding the work before me. You know, I can wash and dry clothes all day...I just hate the folding and putting away. So, a homeschooling friend suggested having baskets with ribbons on them. So, I have to go to Target later to return something and I think I will buy some extra laundry baskets. Then each kid will get 2. One for clean and one for dirty. I am no longer going to fold their clothes. I am going to sort them and throw them in their clean baskets. Then they can fold and put 'em away. I am only folding my and Robert's laundry. The kids throw their clothes around anyway, so why do I bother?

I also have toilets to clean...yee haw! (NOT)! But I figure if I just 'get r done' I will actually have the weekend to maybe...I don't know...READ. How awesome would that be? Oh yeah, I gotta roast some coffee.

Autumn's 1st Confession went really well. She loves the priests at our parish, so it was really who was she going to choose. Afterward, she skipped out and was so cute! She told me she wants to go every Saturday. Then a couple of days ago we had a rough morning with Ben and Robert really yelled at him. Immediately, Robert felt awful and said out loud he never wanted to be a parent who yells like that. Without skipping a beat, Autumn said, "Well, Daddy, I think you should tell that in Confession!" GOD LOVE HER!! A Protestant friend asked me what on earth a 7 year old had to confess. I told her there was not much...and that IS the point. Start now and keep God close to the vest in confession and hopefully she won't end up the sinners her mom and dad ended up to be. Hey...but we're workin' on it!.

As far as unschooling goes, we are really blowing where the wind takes us right now. I have been reading this really cute series to Autumn called Ivy & Bean about two mischievous seven year old friends. 

 I have been encouraging her to read.  She has a new Dr. Seuss book , Fox In Socks and it's a good one to help with phonetics and fluency.  Really, the main focus with Autumn is reading. It really is so important to everything we do.  The increasing technology and constant need to stay in touch with phones, texting, email, IMing, blogs etc.  She has friends she could email, but always needs me there to help her write.  I don't mind, but she does.  She wants to be able to do it.   She just really is not interested in the practice and work it takes to become fluent in reading.  This is one of those times I gently push.  I tell her when she gets frustrated that practice makes perfect, just like when she learned to ride her bike, in-line skate and her continuing of ballet.  There is so much practice that went into those skills and still does. I keep telling her that she doesn't have to read all day....just a little bit each day...and soon it will be like breathing.  It is hard for me to see her (and Ben still) struggle over this vital skill, especially since it comes so easily for me. 

So, that is where we are now.  Okay, I am done with my procrastinating...time for laundry and toilets.  Ugh!

~Peace

Gal Pals part 2

This is Autumn with our next door neighbor, Minaz, and a couple of American Girl dolls. Minaz's family moved next door last Spring. You can imagine Autumn's elation at having a little girl next door her exact age to play with. They get along just wonderfully. Minaz's parents both work. But today, since Minaz's mom works halfday on Wednesdays (she is a Family Practitioner), Autumn will get to see Minaz early. Of course, this makes Autumn very happy.

Gal Pals

Autumn has her good friend Joy Beth over today. This morning was our parish Familia meeting (http://www.familiausa.net/) of which Joy's mom, Sara (an unschooling Catholic friend) and I, are both members. We met at my house today. Sara had to take her older daughter to a Challenge meeting so I suggested Joy Beth stay here. I love these kind of days for kids. The 2 girls are just having a great time using their imaginations and just playing, playing, playing. It's so good for them. I just don't thing kids get enough of real play anymore. Even with homeschoolers there is this seeming need to have any kind of kid get together mean something more than just playing. UGH! It drives me crazy. Most of the time when I try and get together with friends, I have no motive other than to be with them. Why isn't that good enough for our children?

I finally figured out how to put pictures on my blog!

Here is a good one of me with Autumn at the 25th Jubilee of our parish.

Love is where it's at.

Okay, so Autumn is in an early Lindsay Lohan phase. She started watching the remake of Parent Trap and is now on to the remake of Freak Friday. I, personally, loved both of those remakes. I imagine she'll want me to track down the Herbie (the Lovebug) remake Lohan did too. It's a shame that Lindsay, herself, seems so messed up. She's got a lot of talent. But that doesn't mean much...really? If one doesn't have their priorities straight and/or they possibly had a family modeling messed up values, all the talent in the world won't save one from loneliness, despair and sinful choices.

So, I won't feel guilty that Autumn is having a Movie day. Coz even though, Lohan, personally, may be trying to figure out what is most important in life, the girls she's playing, in the movies Autumn is watching, are girls who find out what IS the most important thing in life, which for a young girl , happen to be a loving family life. Everything good can flow from that.

I am in a Scripture & Papal Encyclical study at my Parish. It is a 4 year program for Moms and there is one for Dads. However, at our parish, there weren't enough dads to form a group (kinda typical huh?) . Anyway, I digress. In Familia, we are studying encyclicals written by Pope John Paul II (the Great). He constantly reinforces the Truth that the family IS the domestic Church. The family is where IT all starts. IT being LOVE. This is why it is so important to work at having a loving marriage (which is no cake walk!). My kids may blush and turn away when Robert is kissing me or I am giving him a welcome home from work hug. But they are lucky kids. They know their parents really love each other (though, unfortunately they've heard the arguments too) and that nothing will change that. How can I be so sure? Because Robert and I, finally got our priorities straight. God comes first. God is love. Real love. Demanding love. But, of course, the best love.

In the "Letter to Families" section 14, JP II writes:
14. The Love which the Apostle Paul celebrates in the First Letter to the Corinthians -
the love which is "patient" and "kind" and "endures all things" (1 Cor 13:4,7) -
is certainly a demanding love. But this is precisely the source of it's beauty: by
the very fact that is is demanding, it builds up the true good of man and allows
it to radiate to others. The good says Saint Thomas, is by it's nature "diffusive".
Love is true when it creates the good of persons and communities; it creates
that good and gives it to others. Only the one who is able to be demanding with
himself in the name of love can also demand love from others. Love is demanding
It makes demands in all human situations; it is even more demanding in the case
of those who are open to the Gospel. Is this not what Christ proclaims in "his"
commandment? Nowadays people need to rediscover this demanding love, for
it is the truly firm foundation of the family, a foundation able to "endure
all things". According to the Apostle, love is not able to "endure all things" if
it yields to "jealousies", or if it is "boastful... arrogant or rude" (cf. 1 Cor 13: 5-6).
True love, Saint Paul teaches, is different: "Love believes all things, hopes all
things, endures all things" (1 Cor 13:7). This is the very love which "endures all
things". At work within it is the power of God himself, who "is love" (1 Jn 4:8,16)
At work is also the power and strength of Christ, the Redeemer of man and the
Savior of the world.



That is "the" kind of love Robert and I stumbled upon (thanks entirely to God's grace) a few years ago, and amazingly love each other more, because of how demanding love is, instead of less. So, I guess that is what is wrong with the real lives of those like Lindsay Lohan...too much superficial love. The "it's all about me" kind of love. Which really isn't love, but lust for things, people, experiences. JP II takes about real love being the "gift of one's self for/to others". The fake love is about what gifts one can give to oneself. Isn't it interesting that you can empty yourself for God and others, out of love, and feel so FULL...yet, you can acquire "people, places, things" all day long and be left feeling so entirely EMPTY? Well, I want to feel full. I want my kids to feel full. And they will only feel full if Robert and I love each other and love them with the kind of love God wants...then maybe (with a lot of hope and prayer) they will grow up to have what poor Miss Lohan is missing...authentic, demanding, wonderful LOVE!

Peace out,
Rach

I could stay here all night

Okay, I have just realized that this will be more fun than I thought.

Tonite was a nice night. A long overdue night of mommy-alone-time. Robert and Autumn went to a Daddy-Daughter Hoedown put on by our Catholic Homeschool group. They looked adorable when they left and the Girlie was so excited to be going to a dance with her daddy. Andy went to a friend's party which turned out to be a sleep-over, and Ben, who is sick, sacked out early. So, I got to watch "In Her Shoes" on TV (free On Demand) . I was excited to sit and watch a chick-flick on my own!! Especially since I had just finished the book. I really love Jennifer Weiner's books. I know I am slow on the uptake here, as her books have been out a few years, but I am now reading "Little Earthquakes".

Well, Daddy and Girlie got home after a fabulous night of square dancing and Autumn even got a beautiful letter from her dad, at the dance, which she had me reread to her when she got home.
All in all it was a fun night...and best of all...I started this blog.

Nitey-Nite.
Rach