Friday, May 2, 2008

It's Boob Smooshing Day

Well, in the next hour I will, most likely, be leaning against a table while my boobs get sandwiched in mammogram machine.  Today is my first mammogram.  Why, Rachel, did you wait until you were 42?  One might ask. Well, since this is cyberspace I will admit that I nursed my kids A LONG TIME!  Each was nursed until 5 years old and the last two kids tandem nursed for a bit, and then the middle one weaned and I was just nursing the last one until I had to, virtually, pry her from the breast quite past her 5th birthday.   For those of you who are now thoroughly disgusted with me, all I can say is that it wasn't planned. They were happy, I was happy,  I didn't care. They gave up the boobs when they were ready, they gave up our bed (well 2 of them did...Autumn is still resistant to the idea of sleeping alone) when they were ready, the learned to walk and talk when they were ready...oh you get the picture. 

I found out from some cool UK site last night, can't remember how to get to it, that for every child born, a woman reduces her chances of getting breast cancer by 7%, so that is 21% less risk for me right off the bat.  Then for every year of nursing a women reduces her chance of breast cancer by 4.3%, so I think when I tallied it all up I have reduced my chances of getting breast cancer by over 81.2%.  So, let's all pray that I am not in the bottom 18%..ok?

My mom, God rest her soul, died of metastic colon cancer at the very young age of 53.  So, I have had every sort of humiliating butt test that can be done to a person.  And I thought pap smears and childbirth removed modesty issues. HA!  Sigmoidoscopies, Colonoscopies, Barium Enemas and the like, take naked humiliation in front of others to a whole new level.  At least, for now, I know that my colon is clear. Yipee!  Now on to the top half!

What I find so interesting is that when one really digs for the research on female cancers (breast, uterine, ovarian, cervical) the overwhelming evidence suggests that the less sexual partners you have (preferrably one) and the more kids you have and the longer you nurse them, the less risk you have of contracting these dreaded cancers.  Seems to me God is saying, "Ladies, use them or lose them!"

Last thing, when I was telling Autumn that I had to go to the doctor this morning, she asked why. I told her I was having my boobs smooshed in a machine so they could take pictures of their insides and make sure they were ok.  She said, which a most frightful look on her face, "Oh Mommy, I don't want your boobs to be smooshed!"  I said, "It's okay, Honey, from what I hear, they bounce right back!" LOL

Oh yeah...and this is it, I mean it.  Robert told me that if by waiting, until I am 42 to have my boobs smooshed, that I have neglected to find cancer that has already been lurking within me these past 2 years, that it won't matter if I am going to die, because he's gonna kill me.  So, I have that to look forward to. 



Lilder said...

Prayers for your smooshing!

I'm counting on that extra years of nursing to reduce my risk too ;-)

Neither of mine nursed as long as yours... but my boy nursed till after 4 and I tandumed when my lil girl was born. She's still going strong at over two.

SaraB said...

I think all the nursing I did, for 12 years, in conjunction with only a handful of periods in those same years, gave me the right to wait until 42. Then I had to go back for a 2nd look and, finally, an ultrasound. I haven't been back even though it wasn't that bad---well, except the 2nd go round. That was scary.

Therese said...

lol your post made me laugh. I haven't had a mammogram yet either. Maybe I will squeeze it in on my day off between Wednesday and Thursday. I will be praying too.

Rob said...

well then my wife who has given birth to 11 and kids and nursed them all should have like a -50% chance of getting breast cancer?! Cool!

piscesgrrl said...

I had a breast cancer scare a few years ago - two lumps detected by manual exam. The mammogram was no help at all in seeing them so they wanted to remove the lumps - that's a hell of a diagnostic method! The next day, in a tizzy, I found a holistic MD who specializes in breast health and he *never* recommends mammograms. He uses a thermogram (heat sensor) first because cancer shows hot, then an ultrasound, then MMR. It saved my boobs from unnecessary surgery!

Here's hoping for great results!